This is not quite the post I was anticipating writing today.  That is because yesterday everything was different.  Yesterday the world made a little more sense.  Yesterday my best friend was shielded from a reality that I know all to well, and she was protected from having to experience such traumatic pain.  Today is a new day, and with it everything has seemed to change.
For those of you who don't know, Amy Davis is my best friend.  Her and I met senior year and we have practically been iseperable since.  Her family and I have grown so close over the years, and I always felt such a blanket of love from her parents.  Well, this morning her father died.  Ed Davis passed away from what they believe to be a heart attack.  He was such an amazing man, loved by so many and so generous.  He touched so many lives and his absence is going to be a huge loss for so many.  I spent the entire day with her and her family at the hospital, honored that they would consider me family and let me partake in their suffering, but feeling so useless...not knowing what to say or what to do.
Of course being there brings back emotions of my own loss.  Yes, I have lost a parent.  I think having a similar experience, in many ways, only makes it worse.  It is worse because I can't tell her everything is going to be ok.  I can't tell her that it is going to get easier.  I can't tell her that she won't think about it every single day for the rest of her life.  It has been 20 years and there are days that I still cry as if I lost my mother yesterday.  I am sure anyone who has lost a parent can relate.  As hard as today was for her and for her family, I can't deny the fact that in the coming weeks things are going to get even harder.  It will begin to become a reality, and they will begin to see the ripple effect of his loss.  There will be no area in their life that will be shielded from the affects of this tragedy.  I want to be more encouraging, but it is hard to deny the reality.  I can say that she now has an unstoppable advocate for her in Heaven.  I can say that this experience will make her a stronger person..she will find strength she never knew she had.  I can say that God has a plan for her and her family, and that in all things He will love her and guide her.  I hope these are the things that she will be able to be encouraged by.
Amy has been such a rock of support for me over the years.  She is always there when I need her.  Now she needs me and I am at a loss of what to do.  How can I be there for her??  Obviously I will be what she needs me to be when she needs it.  I just wish there was something to be done that would ease her pain or comfort her.  We know that Ed is in heaven, and we know that he is now with my mother, but it doesn't make us miss him any less.  Amy's life is now forever changed.  I know God has a plan, and I am trying to find strength in the fact that His will is always better then our own, but at the moment it is proving to be difficult.  I am so sad for her and her family.  Seeing her mother was heartbreaking.  At the samet time, I am said for my loss.  I was so looking forward to introducing Tavian to Ed.  Ed has always shown such love and support to Cole and me, and I know he was looking forward to meeting our little one.  Tavian would have been showed so much love by him, and now he is gone...  Trust me, I know this is nothing compared to what Amy's family is facing now, with the loss of a father/husband/brother/etc., but Ed's loss will be felt on many levels.
Amy, I love you.  I am here for you.  I will be what you need me to be.  Never hesitate to share this cross with me.