The Never-Ending To Do List!

Well, I am sitting at work on a Sat. (only two more weeks of work after this!!) with absolutely NOTHING to do.  So, of course, I sit and think about all the things I could and should be doing at home!  I brought some work here (the baby books for Tavian that I need to keep updated), but much of the other things I need to accomplish require me being somewhere other then work!  To help me feel a bit more productive I have decided to at least get an organized overview of some of the things hanging over my head! 
I need to:
*Pack my hospital bag.  (I thought this might be pre-emptive, but after reading all of the message boards on the What To Expect website, looks like I am actually a bit behind!!)
*Put the car seat in the car
*Order more of the needed cloth diapers supplies (yes, Cole and I are crazy and we are going to try cloth diapers..don't judge!)
*Sew the window valance for the nursery
*Take Belly Pics (Cole keeps wanting to wait on this so I will be "bigger"...trust me, I am big enough already, and I don't think he gets that I would rather get this done before i am entirely swollen and HUGE!)
*Print off address labels for baby announcements
*Figure out easy recipes to have on hand for after Tavian comes so i won't have to stress about meals.  (maybe even make a few meals before hand and freeze them?!)
*Get remaining needed items off baby registry
*Finish making Tavian's hat
*Add additional info. to our birth plan
*Get caught up on scrapbooking
I know there is more, plenty more, and the list never seems to get smaller, but half the problem is remembering what it was that I needed to get done.  At least the above list is now written down and I don't have to keep trying to remember it.  I am sure in 10 min. I will think of more to add!

I put off doing a lot of stuff because I didn't want to do things too soon and get ahead of myself.  Word to the wise..there is no such thing as too soon, because whatever I get done now is one less thing I will have to worry about later.  Also, who wants to wait until they feel crappy, exhausted, and can't move their limbs?!?  Yes, exagerated, but I am no longer putting things off!!!  That would be my advice for other pregger ladies out there!

I am open to all suggestions for easy meals that I can start getting ready.  Let me know of any ideas you might have!!  Also, i have two weeks until I am offically 37 weeks, which means I have two weeks until I can officially sigh with relief and baby can come any time with full expectation that there won't be any complications!!  (if it is considered safe to have an at home birth at 37 weeks then surely you can have one in the hospital!)  So, I am also open to any advice or suggestions of anything you all have heard of that naturally helps get labor going!  Walks, sex, eating pineapple, etc.  I want to be ready to start at the 37wk mark!  I'm all ears to your suggestions:)

Katie, if you read this, any tid bits of advice are welcome:)  I'm sure you have seen a lot first hand.  If anything sticks out, let me know!

A life worth remembering...

Cole and I met with the Deacon at St. Elizabeth Ann Seaton to get things started for Tavian's baptism.  I have seen the Deacon there for years, he is pretty old, but we never really talked with him before.  Well, while filling out one of the forms I was asked to put my maiden name down.  He picked up the form and said, "Rutherford?  Why didn't you say so!  I knew your mother!"  He went on to explain how my mother was such a fiesty, courageous, and motivated person.  He was at her funeral and everything.  I should know by now that there is a good chance that anyone who lived in Fort Collins 20 yrs. ago remembers at least hearing about my mother and her tragic death.  I have even had friends parents suddenly make the connection.  My best friend Amy, who I didn't meet until senior year of high school, reminds me all the time that her dad knew my mom because she was so active in all the pro-life organizations.  Even still, it always seems to surprise me.  I can't tell you what it means being able to have even the shortest conversations about her...and with someone who actually knew her!
Cole made a good point right after Deacon Bill left.  He just thought it was so cool that after all this time, after all the people that the Deacon has come to know, and after all the funerals he has been at that he would remember my mother and her story from 20 years back.  Cole is right...what kind of person did she have to be to make that kind of impact on his life and on society?  I feel so honored to have had a mother like that :) 

Dylan turns 5!!!

On the 17th my nephew and Godson, Dylan Edward, turned 5 years old!  I can't believe how big he has gotten.  Cole and I went to my sister Sarah's house to celebrate Dylan's birthday.  Dylan wasn't even a year old when I started dating Cole, so I love knowing that he doesn't remember a time without Uncle Cole in his life.  It is really special, especially since he is my Godson..my first Godson too!  Cole made him a hat for his birthday that turned out super cute.  He put D-MAN on it because that is what we call him!  Anyway, it is crazy how time flies, but I have loved getting to play such a large role in little D-Man's life.  Enjoy the pics:)

Wearing the hat Cole made him and being a gangsta! :)

Debby Downer

Hate to say it, but this won't be the cheeriest of posts.  I'm cranky and that is all there is to it.  I was really hopeful that the 3rd tri-mester wouldn't live up to it's horrible reputation....but it is! 
I'm irritable, irrational, and terribly uncomfortable!  Not a good combination.  I have tried to be positive, and some days I do just fine, but today I'm gonna just lay it out there.  If it weren't for the bundle of joy at the end of this journey, I'm not sure I would do this again!  Ok, that is a little dramatic, but in the midst of all this I have decided it is ok to exagerate!  What isn't exagerated is the fact that I am ready for this little guy to be here.  I am ready for the next part of this adventure!  I don't literally mean that I want him here today, because I want what is best for him and for him to be healthy, but i'm aiming for 38 weeks.  As soon as it is safe, I want him!  I will be pulling out all the natural stops in order to make it happen.  This mentality ignores the fact that most first time moms deliver after their due date..:( sad! 
I love this little guy, but today I am just especially aware of the sacrifices and challenges that come with being pregnant!  And I am pretty sure Cole is VERY aware of what it is like to be married to an irritable wife!  Poor guy, my mood swings are all over the place.  I can literally cry and laugh within the same 10 minutes!  Hopefully tomorrow Debby won't show her crabby face!!!
Well, thanks for listening to my vent!

Lacy...

January of 2003 changed my life.  It changed the lives of many people I know.  Lacy was taken from us...brutally taken.  I watched as my sister, my best friend, suffered while there was absolutely nothing I could do for her.  The events itself seem so long ago, yet the feelings associated with them are easily brought back.  I remember merely existing through that time...I still "participated" in life, but more as an empty shell.  I remember retreating from friends, crying (often times in class without a moments notice), being scared to drive alone at night, and it was also the one time in my life where I was really angry at God.  I didn't understand how something so horrible could happen to someone I loved.  Yes, I had already lost many loved ones at that point in my life, but the way in which Lacy died made the experience entirely different.  My life's theme song at the time was "Unwell" by Matchbox 20. 

I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
Just stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, Me

A year after her death I wrote a poem for an English class.  I'll warn you, it's not a happy poem!  But, life isn't always happy, and I think it is far better to be honest! (I never titled the poem)

It's here again
this month I dread,
The one of pain,
I can't seem to move ahead.

A year ago,
So much has happened,
Yet I still feel her,
My angel in the wind.

Do they remember?
Or for them is it over?
If so they are mistaken,
Maybe I am the only one sober.

I wish I could forget,
This month's events,
But the things I try don't help,
Not the tears I cry, not the words I vent.

My life seems pulled together,
Doing much better then before,
I'm scared of what January may bring back,
I can't take that heartache anymore.

I don't want it to bring back the nightmare,
I still see his face sometimes at night,
So tall, massive, and heartless,
There is no way she could've put up a fight.

But I know there is light after dark,
For February is the month to follow,
I look forward to the light coming again,
My heart won't feel so hollow.

Yes, she's in Heaven now,
Forever free from harm,
Eyes brightly shining and smile huge,
Held safe in her Maker's arms.


Today I am thinking of Lacy.  I am thinking of her family and of my sister.
Lacy you are missed :)

One of my fav. pics of Amanda, my sister Andrea, Lacy, and Angela.

Holidays plus trip to Virginia

Well, the holidays have been a whirlwind.  I am EXHAUSTED..to put it lightly!  Where do I even start?
Hmm, well, Christmas was good.  This was our year with Cole's family, which is wonderful, but it meant having to drive back and forth from Longmont a lot.  Christmas Eve Cole and I had some relaxing time together in the morning, but headed to Longmont in the afternoon to make the 4:30 mass.  We had really wanted to go to the Christmas Vigil at St. Joseph's, but I hadn't slept well the week leading up to it, so i knew I would be too exhausted.  After mass we went to Cole's step-dad's brother's house.  They had the yummiest Italian food and we got to see a lot of family.  From there we stopped by his best friend Andrew's house since he was in town for the holidays.  We just stopped by for a quick hello and then headed to his mom's house for the remainder of Christmas Eve.  We had a lot of fun with all the family and we got to open gifts with his family. 

Cole's brother, Luke, with his adorable daughter, Bella

Cole's stepsister, Angela, feeling my little man move around

Cole with his best friend Andrew

My lovey and me on Christmas Eve

Trying to get a pic with the entire fam..MUCH harder then it should be!

Late that night we drove back to Fort Collins. (We could have stayed in Longmont, but we really love waking up together in our own home on Christmas and celbrating that morning with just us). Christmas morning was PERFECT! Cole and I had such a wonderful and relaxing time together, and he got me great gifts for the house! We were so happy for that time together.

That afternoon we drove to his dad's house (back to Longmont).  We celebrated with that side of the family, opened gifts, and his dad made a wonderful meal!  Although it was somewhat stressful constantly driving from place to place, it was a great Christmas.

The following days were crammed full of activities.  Saturday we met up with some of Cole's friends that were in town along with his mom for some crab legs (once again, in Longmont!).  It is a restaurant called Fusion and I highly recommend it.  If you like crab legs it is perfect...yummy food with delicious sides and they are all you can eat for only $15. 

The boys stuffing their faces with Crab Legs!

Getting together with friends to play games!

One of the highlights of the break was having Brian and John (two of our close friends that are currently in the seminary) over for dinner.  We LOVE getting to spend time with them and we had so much fun.  We can't wait for their ordination in May 2011!

They "fish hooked" me...something I had never experienced! Ha!

We had tons of fun with friends and family, but unfortunately we didn't have that much time to actually relax.   Wed. (the 30th) came before we knew it and we were headed to the airport at 3 that morning to catch our flight to Virginia.  The trip was wonderful!  Being there right when Augustine was born was so special.  He is beautiful and I am so happy we had the opportunity to spend those first few days with him.  He is such a cute baby and I will remember the experience for the rest of my life.  I also got to share such an intimate experience with Andrea.  So special!  I love seeing her immediately transform into this amazing mom and having her help me prepare for my upcoming adventure.
Augustine's baptism was Sat. and it was really wonderful.  He is Cole's first Godchild and so it was extra special for him.  The service was intimate with just us, but it was still really wonderful.  I am just so glad we were able to make it coincide with our visit!

The proud parents

The proud God-parents

Eskimo Kisses

The whole group

Yes, he is beautiful!

haha, we thought Augstine and Tavian should do some bonding!

Snuggle time...although I was apparently much more tired then him!

The best Christmas gift ever!

I love this pic because he's just so little!!

Sorry this was so long...hopefully you enjoyed all the pics! It was a great trip and a great Christmas break.  We already miss Augustine SO much and I can't believe that the next time I see him he will be two months old, and that by then I will have my own little one!  He will change so much in that time:( 

We are enjoying being home and getting stuff done, but I woke up this morning feeling pretty sick!  I guess I just wore myself out.  I have an apt. with my Doctor tomorrow, but I have a feeling he will tell me to just rest and drink fluids.  Hopefully it doesn't last too long!