My Baby's Heart

Tavian and I have a lot of games that we love to play together.  One of them goes a little something like this:

"Momma, I fell" (and he throws himself willingly onto the ground, laying flat on his back)

"Oh no, you fell?  Are you ok?  Let me check!"

As I kneel over him, I do a series of checks to make sure he is ok.  I open his eyes, one at a time and take a good look.  I look into his ears..and I "smell" them too because I know it tickles him!  Then I stick my finger under his arm to make sure he doesn't have a fever.  I tap my finger on his belly and tell him it sounds good.

And lastly, and most importantly to me, I listen to his heart.  As I put my ear to his chest I say, "ba boom ba boom ba boom".  And although we are just playing a silly game, every time as I make the sounds of his heart, I truly listen to the beautiful sounds of his beating heart.  His beautiful heart.  And I am reminded of the first time I heard that heart beating.  He was so little...this new life within me, and yet his same, beautiful heartbeat filled the doctors room.  Cole and I were holding our breath in anticipation, filled with excitement and anxiousness as we waited for those sounds of hope...sounds of life!

Praise God for my baby boy and for his beating heart.

Praise God for a silly game that brings music to my ears, and reminds me to thank God for the miracle of life!

Thankful for my Bestie

My best friend Amy turns 26 today.

I am so happy to have the opportunity to celebrate with her and rejoice that she is in my life.  She truly is a blessing!

In case you don't already know her, I'll give a quick overview.  She is passionate, loving, giving, smart, laugh til you cry funny, sarcastic, and BEautiful! (there is oh so much more)

I remember around a year ago, after her 25th birthday, that she told me this was the year she was going to get her life in order.  The year she was going to make changes and pursue dreams.  I didn't necessarily know how serious she was at the time, but I was excited for her!  I have and always will want the very best for her.  I was proud of her for wanting amazing, beautiful things out of life.  Proud because you may remember this post a few years ago that I wrote the day her dad died.  She went through such a horrific experience and had reasons to give up, or to just except that the best of life had come and gone.  But she didn't.  In fact, I have seen her stand taller, try harder, give more, and love more ferociously then I have prior to that event.  How inspiring is that?!?

She is the kind of friend that pushes me to be a better person.  I know she loves me and is there for me and wants good things for me.  She loves my family...each of  us as individuals, and we each indivdually love her.  I am so happy little Felicity has Amy as her Godmother...Amy is a prayer warrior, and I know she has my little girl in her daily prayers.  What a lucky little girl I have!

In the past 7 months Amy has been on an amazing journey.  When she said this would be the year she would take life by the horns and run, she truly meant it.  And I can't tell you the number of people she has inspired in the process.  In these 7 months she has lost over 100 lbs.  Yes, you did in fact read that correctly!  And no, there is no gimmick.  She was worked her butt off.  She eats healthy and works out every day.  And I have never seen her happier.  And if her weight loss wasn't enough of a lifestyle change in itself, it really is just the tip of the ice berg.  She has confronted demons and hurts from her past, she has begun to dream big, and she has made huge strides in achieving those dreams.  She has softened her heart and made herself vulnerable to all the good that God would have for her in this life.  And I am so thankful to have witnessed it all!

I know I can't do it the justice it deserves, so why don't you head on over to her fab blog and check it all out for yourself.  Trust me, you won't leave uninspired!

I love you Amy.  I am so proud of all you have accomplished.  Thank you for loving me.  You are loved and cherished by so many...and the best part is I think you believe that more now then you ever have before.  Praise God :)

Happy Birthday, My Friend!  May this coming year be even brighter!!!

One of my faves.  Ames and Felicity!

A Pin Come True: DIY Air Freshener

Ok, I was really excited when I saw this Pin.

I love easy DIY projects, especially ones that are so useful in the home.  Candles and air fresheners can get pretty pricey so I thought this could be the perfect solution...especially for all the bathrooms since they are smaller spaces.

I already had a mason jar, baking soda, and I even already have the essential oils because I use them for some of my massage therapy stuff.  I also had extra scrapbook paper laying around so it took me a matter of minutes to follow the steps and assemble my air freshener.

The problem?..it doesn't work!  You can't smell anything unless you put your nose up to it.  I am very dissapointed!  Part of me wants me to tell you not to waste your time doing something that doesn't work...but the other part of me wants you all to try it to see if I'm crazy and maybe doing something wrong!  I want this to work so I want to know how to fix it!

It doesn't say you have to use a certain size mason jar, but I started wondering if mine was too big.  That could be the case, even though mine is still a mini jar size, but I don't want to go buy a different jar and have it not work again.

Well, there you have it.  This is the kind of feedback that will hopefully save all of you some time!  I'll let you know if I try it again and get different results!

My Two Year Old

Tavian turned Two on March 7th.  Is that seriously even possible?  I can't believe how fast he is growing up.  We watched his birth tape (a tradition we will do every birthday), and it was so wonderful and emotional.  Our lives changed so much in that moment...the world got better and brighter with his beautiful soul entering it.  As quickly as it has all gone, it was still a little crazy to watch his birth tape and realize that I have done that whole birthing thing twice in less then two years...that is crazy talk!

No matter how big he gets, he will always be my baby :)

We celebrated Tavian's birthday with lots of family and friends and it was really wonderful.  We decided to rent out Pump it Up for his party because it was too cold to have it at a park, but I also felt too overwhelmed to host it at our house.  And let me tell you, it ended up being a great decision.  Not only did everyone have a great time jumping around and going down the big slide (we even held an adult relay through the obstacle course...haha), but it was so nice not having to clean up the house or make any food and have any dishes afterwards.  It was totally stress free!

It was so fun watching Tavian play with all of his friends.  He is seriously just the sweetest, most hilarious little kid and I am honored to call him mine!

He was loving his Elmo Cupcakes!

On his actual birthday we all went to ice cream with my Dad and my sister and her family.  Tavian loved the special time with his cousins!  He got plenty of wonderful gifts.  I was able to find an amazing kitchen on Craigslist, and since I paid full price they gave me an outdoor playhouse too!  Talk about a great deal :)  He loves the kitchen and the playhouse a lot and it is so fun watching him use his imagination in the kitchen.

I wish I could remember all the sweet, funny things he has been doing lately.  Here are a few:

*The other day he looked at me, stroked my face and said, "Mama beautiful!"  Talk about melting my heart!
*He wakes up every morning saying, "Dada,where are you?  Please help, Dada."
*He always raises his food and drink, touches it to ours, and exclaims, "Cheers!"
*He has started to sing his ABC's
*He is loving playing with his friends, especially Cash and Dominick.  All the time he'll say, "Play Cash, today? and Sydnie, too? (Cash's mommy)"  If I tell him not today he always says, "next week?"  Such a smart kiddo!
*At bedtime I ask him how much I love him.  He stretches out his arms as far as he can as says, "thiiis much!" And then I say, "at least!"  Then he says he loves me more and I say I love him most.
*He has started making the sign of the cross and praying with us at meals and bedtime
*He is so sweet to his baby sister and says the funniest things to her.  "Hi, sister!", "Hi, baby girl", "Don't cry, sister"...lol, I wonder where he gets all of that from!
*He is such a whiz at puzzles.  It seriously amazes me!  He can put a brand new puzzle together super fast without any help!
*We sing all the time together.  He loves Its Bitsy Spider, Wheels on the Bus, If You're Happy and You Know it, and Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.  I love hearing his little voice chiming in!

As part of our birthday traditions, Cole and I recorded a video message for him.  One day we will complile all of them and give them to him.  I'm sure it will be pretty funny!!  And I read to him, On the Night You Were Born, by Nancy Tillman, something I plan on making a tradition from this year forward.  We love all of her books, but this is perfect for birthdays.  If you have never read it, you should.  Such a sweet book.  It was so special reading it to him, and the end of the book pretty much sums it up:

"Heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born."

My Sweet Tavey Love,
Always remember how much I love you.  Always remember that you are precious, and cherished, and wanted.  Remember that you have a purpose in this life and you are here for a reason.  Know that I am praying for you all of your days.  Praying that you are faithful to the Truth no matter the cost, and praying that you will always stay close to Jesus in all that you do!  God Bless You, Sweet Boy :)

Turns Out I'm Old

Guess who played in their first indoor soccer game last night?

This old lady, that's who!

So on the one hand you all should be super proud of me because I have wanted to bet back into soccer for years, but it was always impossible for me to find a team to play on.  I have been telling everyone I know for the longest time that if they ever hear of a team coming together to let me know cause I want to play.  Well, my good friend Stacey followed through and two weeks ago informed me that I could play indoor with her team and that our first game would be April 1st.

You know when you want something really bad, then you get it, and then you aren't so sure anymore?  Yeah, that definitely happened.  I do want to play, but all week I was psyching myself out because I have every reason not to put myself through it.  Like the fact that I'm exhausted!!  And I just had a baby less then 4 months ago.  And that means I have done anything physically active in at least a year (but lets be honest, it has been longer then that!)  And I have just been really overwhelmed lately with life.  So adding soccer games on Sunday nights seemed to be a little much.

But it was what I had been wanting for so long.  So I said yes anyway.

After the initial "yes" I found out that it was a co-ed, competitive league...super!

The good news is that I survived last night.  But seriously, I thought I was going to die.  Turns out we only had one girl substitute, so all of the girls playing thought they were going to die.  It was so so rough, and I truly can't tell you how old I feel.  At one point i was sure I was going to vomit, but by the grace of God the urge passed!  I kept telling my feet to move, but it was like my body was in slow motion!  It is crazy not being able to do something when the last time I was doing it I was pretty darn good!  But it kind of makes sense when I did the math...it has been 8 years since I have played soccer, and I have only ever played in one indoor game!  YIKES!  

I know it will get better over the next few weeks as I get more accustomed to moving my body, lol, but in the meantime I am going to pay for it.  Today has been pretty rough...I feel sore everywhere!  At least I'm accomplishing something that was on my "to do" list for the past eight years!

When did I get so old?!?

(i should mention one of the best parts of playing was seeing how excited Tavian was about it.  And hearing the "Go Mommy's" from the sideline, and having him run into my arms after the game.  And hearing him keep talking about it today.  So cute!)