This Too Shall Pass...

Or will it??
This is a saying my Aunt Barb has always reminded me of throughout the years whenever I was going through something tough.  I was just recently reminding someone else of this very saying, but obviously wasn't paying close attention to it myself.  If you couldn't guess, it has been a rough few weeks.  Ever since Chicago things with Tavian have been somewhat difficult.  (by the way, i started a blog about my trip, but lets be honest, it may never be completed)  Anyway, since coming home things just feel out of whack.  First Tavian got sick, then I noticed his teeth were coming, he has been trying to roll off of his tummy which serves as a distraction as well as frustration, and then yesterday got his four month shots.  Basically it is one thing after another, and I am just really missing the familiarity of what used to be.  Tavey is still an amazing, happy little boy, but I just feel like everything is changing (which realistically, it is!).  The hardest thing has been that he has started fighting naps like CRAZY, and even when he does end up taking one, they are onlly 30 minutes.  I mean this very literally.  For 29 minutes he won't move a muscle, but right at 30 everything changes.  What happened to the baby who would nap for 2 hours easily??  Because I have had to crack down on the nap situation, I am also feeling a little less then perfect in the mom realm.  I feel horrible and have ended up crying many, many days.  I hate seeing him hurting or crying, but I know how important his sleep is.  The irrational part of me starts to believe that he doesn't love me as much, or that he feels abandoned by me.  Silly, maybe, but I don't have the confidence I used to.  Everything has changed at such a fast rate that I no longer feel compentent.  I know that as his mother I have the ability to care for him better then anyone else on this planet, but right now it feels like I never know what he needs.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I am his source of comfort.  It is heartbreaking.  I know that I am sounding a bit extreme, but I love this child so much, and I just want to feel like we are on the same page again. 
This too shall pass....This too shall pass....This too shall pass...   I wish I was closer to believing it!!
Sorry for the pitty party.  I need to remind myself of all the blessings.  Like the fact that I have a perfect, beautiful baby boy that brings more love and joy into my life then I knew possible.  Or the fact that twice this week Tavian has left for 11 hours straight at night without waking!!! (i know, its a big deal!)  Or that my husband is such a big help, and we have a roof over our heads and he has a job he loves.  And that Tavian is healthy!!
Yes, the blessings are abundant.  Lord, help me to focus on the blessings, and cling to the knowledge that with You I can get through anything.