Roller Coaster Ride

It has been kind of rough lately.

I was really looking forward to last weekend because I have really been in need of a break.  And, since I have the most amazing husband ever, he is willing to give me as much of a break as I need every weekend.  It isn't too surprising that I felt like I was running on empty, considering one of my milk ducts hadn't drained all the way in days, and a doctor's apt. on thursday told me that I had a breast infection.  For those of you who have had one you know how much it sucks.  One of the real perks of an infection is that it can affect the milk supply in that breast, which for someone like me who is always struggling with milk supply, it just adds to the stress!  I started on antibiotics immediately.

 

Saturday night was frustrating as well because I lost my cell phone.  I "lose" my cell phone multiple times a day, but this time was different.  And I lost it right after church so I had it on silent, which doesn't make finding it any easier.  Days later I still haven't found it.  Thankfully, and surprisingly, I was ready for an upgrade on my plan so purchasing my new phone wasn't as expensive as I had anticipated.  I'm just bummed because I have never actually lost my phone before.  I keep thinking it has to be in my car somewhere, so hopefully it will turn up in a few weeks.  I don't like knowing I lost something like that, and I'm mostly sad because I have a lot of pictures/videos of Tavian over the past 8 months.  I know, I know...and many of you know as well, I have hundreds of pictures of him, but I'm greedy and I wanted to save each and every one!!!

Then Sunday came and my duct was still clogged...worse then it was days before.  Clearly I wasn't feeling confidant in the antibiotics.  I should have been getting better, not worse!!  Another little treat for Sunday was that Tavian decided to go on a 24 hr. nursing strike.  I know it could have been a lot worse, and I am so very thankful that he is back to normal now, but I can't tell you how emotionally draining it is when your sweet little baby won't nurse on you and pushes you away!  I swear he would have rather starved himself!!!!  Now I realize he was probably having pain from teething and didn't want any pressure on his gums.  It just made for a teary day of fearing that he may be weaning himself!

I thought things were looking up on Monday, and in many ways it was a great start to the week.  Cole's mom offered to come and get Tavian for the day so I could rest and have some time to get stuff done around the house.  I didnt' rest as much as I would have liked, but it was nice being able to accomplish so much!  I am so thankful for my mother-in-law and I love knowing how much she cherishes Tavian.  He deserves to be cherished!!!  They had a great time together. 

Cole and I grabbed dinner alone (another perk) before heading to pick Tavian up.  The bummer is that my boob was getting pretty clogged again, and I made a last minute decision that I should go to the urgent care again and see what they could tell me.  (note that Tavian eats 9 oz. off me every morning so if I was feeling clogged in the evening, if something didn't change it was going to make for a very painful morning!)  I didn't get very much information, other then that I have to go in for an ultrasound on my breast on thursday.  I'm a little concerned, but I'm sure it is no big deal.  That will tell them if the problem is fluid or a mass, at which point they would decide if I need to have the fluid drained or the mass biopsied.  Because not much was done last night, it did make for a painful morning.  Thankfully Tavian ate a lot and I wasn't in much pain for the remainder of the day.  I just want to get the ultrasound over with so I can figure out what is wrong and fix it!  First of all I hope it isn't serious.  But I also really hope it doesn't mean I have to stop breastfeeding yet....I guess only time will tell.

I know that much of this post was a bit of a downer, but I am still thankful for all the blessings in my life right now.  There is always going to be rough patches in life, and I just happened to have a few right in a row.  It could always be worse, I know that first hand, so even though I had a few low days, I am going to keep repeating in my head one of my favorite sayings...

"This too shall pass"