Waiting, waiting, waiting...
This is getting pretty hard! I had really wanted Tavian out in the past weeks because of the discomfort I have been in. And, even though the discomfort hasn't really gotten any better, I can honestly say that now I am just yearning to meet him. I want to see this little guy's face, and kiss his little lips, and hold him close to me. I talk to him all the time and I can feel his specific body parts beneath my belly, and I just want him to feel me touching him and holding him without the barrier! I want to know more about his personality and see if he looks like Cole!! I am trying to remind myself that he will come in God's time and when he is ready to be here. I just think he should be ready now;)
As for being ready, Cole and I are SO ready. We had a wonderful weekend and got so much done. We cleaned the house top to bottom and it feels wonderful to have that out of the way. I helped when I could...basically when I wasn't comatose on the couch!!! Since getting everything done it has been a lot easier for me to relax and enjoy these last few days to myself.
I went shopping on Friday and had a great time. I was by myself but it was good to get out of the house, get my body moving, and I actually found some great deals. I bought some things for after pregnancy and it made me really excited..I really haven't shopped for myself in a long time! I also got these amazing boots at Bass. Originally $150, but with the sales and my extra coupons I got them for $16. I love a good bargain:)
The nursery is complete (minus the adorable child that will inhabit it) and I will try and put up pictures of it soon. Speaking of pictures, I am working on making some of the belly pics available. There are some really cute ones that Cole and I are really excited about. We only purchased a few though because we are going back when the baby gets here and I have a feeling it will be a lot harder for me to resist buying ones of him!
Last night was a fun night with friends. Britt and Syd came over so we could exchange recipes, something we have wanted to do for awhile, but also so we could hang out one last time before Britt's big move to Denver later this week. I love these girls so much and although I know it is an exciting big step for Britt, I can't help but be a little bummed that she will be living farther away. I know we'll still make time to see each other a lot though!! Brad came along to hang out with Cole and we all had a great time. I laughed so hard while they were here that I gave myself Braxton Hicks contractions ALL night long! Oh well, totally worth it, and maybe it is working on getting the real thing going!!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Well this was fun!
1. High heels or boots? Heels..i am obsessed. And I haven't been able to wear them in a very long time...but soon enough my friends:)
2. What time did you get up this morning? 7:15...I was actually feeling well rested so I was able to get up and shower in time for mass!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Valentine's Day! Pretty darn cute!
4. What is your maiden name? Rutherford
5. What is your favorite TV show? Mostly reality shows: Biggest Loser, Bachelor, American Idol, Survivor, Amazing Race
6. What did you have for breakfast? the best thing ever! Cinniman Crunch bagel with butter from Panera. YUM!
7. What is your middle name? Laura and Maureen. We all have two middle names, and my children will all have two as well!
8. What food do you dislike? I am not very picky, but I just can't eat olives or mustard!
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Hmm, I haven't been listening to very many cds lately. James Taylor is always my fav. cd, along with Bebo Norman, and then I love all my random mixes.
10.What characteristic do you despise? People who make a life out of excuses..is that a characteristic?? You get the idea!
11.Favorite Clothing? These days? Sweats. Anything that resembles comfort. The majority of people in my life haven't seen me in real clothing in a few weeks!!! (ok, maybe even longer! ha)
12.Any where in the world on vacation? Ireland or Hawaii
13.Are you an organized person? Surprisingly, yes. For a long time I don't think I was, or I don't think many people thought of me that way, but I am strangely OCD. My best friend Amy even likens me to Monica from Friends, which really makes me laugh!
14.Where would you retire too? Assisi in Italy...amazing! Or maybe Cole and I will sell everything and just travel from week to week on different cruise boats exploring all kinds of new places (i heard this actually happens because it can be cheaper then an old folks home, and a heck of a lot more fun with better food and activities!) Doesn't sound too bad to me:)
15.What was your most recent memorable birthday? My last birthday was very memorable. We had a lot of friends and family come to celebrate and it was amazing having so many people I love all in one room!
16.What are you going to do when you finish this? Relax...sleep...watch a movie. Any or all of the above!
17.Furthest place you are sending this? Most of my followers live close I think, so I'm not real sure.
18.Person you expect to send it back first? This isn't an e-mail
19.When is your birthday ? July 29th
20.Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm really not sure. I just love sleep!
21.What is your shoe size? 7 or 7 1/2
22.Do you own any animals? No, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
23.Any news you'd like to share? I freakin love my little baby and all I think about is getting to see him and kiss his little lips!
24.When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? An actress..but one that sings too:)
25.What is your favorite flower? I like all flowers. Roses are beautiful, but I love the smell of lilacs!
26.What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? March 8th (or sooner)- baby tavey finally arrives!! March 20th- Tavian's Baptism and a lot of family are coming into town. March 17th- St. Patricks Day because being Irish rocks...plus i'm going to drink a green beer which I think is super fun!
27.If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue..is that depressing? It isn't meant to be!
28.What is under your bed? nothing
29.How is the weather right now? Miserably cold. Sorry, I am not a winter girl and I have just about had it! I want summer and everything that comes with it!
30.Last person you spoke to on the phone? My sister Andrea..always a pleasure:)
31.Favorite drink? recently pink lemonade powerade
32.Favorite restaurant? On the Border, McCalisters, Cinzettis, BoneFish
33.Hair color? Brown..i have never even dyed it
34.What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies and Ninja Turtles
35.Spring Summer, Fall or Winter? Summer!! I like Fall, but winter always seems to intrude too early!
36.Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla
37.Coffee or tea? Coffee. I wish I liked tea, but I don't!
38.Wish you were still young? Sometimes...mostly because I would still get to have certian loved ones in my life. However, going more then 4 1/2 years back removes Cole, and I'm not about doing that!!! Life got really good when he entered the picture:)
39.Do you want your friends to email you back? No one has to, but I do think they are fun to read!
40.When was the last time you cried? yesterday..that is right, I'm hormonal. I told Cole I had an entirely knew understanding of why children cry when they are tired!
41.What did you do last night? Cole and I made a delicious dinner (pasta with salad), we baked brownies and I made Strawberry pretzel jello yumminess (not sure of the real name, but it is SO good), watched Amazing Race and The Kardashians, and then finished the night off with some Dr. Mario. A very wonderful night:)
42.Did someone not like this question? I don't think i understand...
43.What are you afraid of? Losing people I love, not living up to my potential
44.Salty or sweet? depends on my mood
45.Best quality you have? I will fight for those who can't/don't fight for themselves and I put time and energy into my relationships
46.How many years at your current job? currently jobless :)
47.Favorite day of the week? Sunday, Funday! haha..but seriously, Cole and I really try to make it a family day full of relaxation and fun!
48.How many people will you send this to? all those who read my blog!
49.How many will respond? no clue!
50.Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? I sure do!
2. What time did you get up this morning? 7:15...I was actually feeling well rested so I was able to get up and shower in time for mass!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Valentine's Day! Pretty darn cute!
4. What is your maiden name? Rutherford
5. What is your favorite TV show? Mostly reality shows: Biggest Loser, Bachelor, American Idol, Survivor, Amazing Race
6. What did you have for breakfast? the best thing ever! Cinniman Crunch bagel with butter from Panera. YUM!
7. What is your middle name? Laura and Maureen. We all have two middle names, and my children will all have two as well!
8. What food do you dislike? I am not very picky, but I just can't eat olives or mustard!
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Hmm, I haven't been listening to very many cds lately. James Taylor is always my fav. cd, along with Bebo Norman, and then I love all my random mixes.
10.What characteristic do you despise? People who make a life out of excuses..is that a characteristic?? You get the idea!
11.Favorite Clothing? These days? Sweats. Anything that resembles comfort. The majority of people in my life haven't seen me in real clothing in a few weeks!!! (ok, maybe even longer! ha)
12.Any where in the world on vacation? Ireland or Hawaii
13.Are you an organized person? Surprisingly, yes. For a long time I don't think I was, or I don't think many people thought of me that way, but I am strangely OCD. My best friend Amy even likens me to Monica from Friends, which really makes me laugh!
14.Where would you retire too? Assisi in Italy...amazing! Or maybe Cole and I will sell everything and just travel from week to week on different cruise boats exploring all kinds of new places (i heard this actually happens because it can be cheaper then an old folks home, and a heck of a lot more fun with better food and activities!) Doesn't sound too bad to me:)
15.What was your most recent memorable birthday? My last birthday was very memorable. We had a lot of friends and family come to celebrate and it was amazing having so many people I love all in one room!
16.What are you going to do when you finish this? Relax...sleep...watch a movie. Any or all of the above!
17.Furthest place you are sending this? Most of my followers live close I think, so I'm not real sure.
18.Person you expect to send it back first? This isn't an e-mail
19.When is your birthday ? July 29th
20.Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm really not sure. I just love sleep!
21.What is your shoe size? 7 or 7 1/2
22.Do you own any animals? No, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
23.Any news you'd like to share? I freakin love my little baby and all I think about is getting to see him and kiss his little lips!
24.When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? An actress..but one that sings too:)
25.What is your favorite flower? I like all flowers. Roses are beautiful, but I love the smell of lilacs!
26.What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? March 8th (or sooner)- baby tavey finally arrives!! March 20th- Tavian's Baptism and a lot of family are coming into town. March 17th- St. Patricks Day because being Irish rocks...plus i'm going to drink a green beer which I think is super fun!
27.If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue..is that depressing? It isn't meant to be!
28.What is under your bed? nothing
29.How is the weather right now? Miserably cold. Sorry, I am not a winter girl and I have just about had it! I want summer and everything that comes with it!
30.Last person you spoke to on the phone? My sister Andrea..always a pleasure:)
31.Favorite drink? recently pink lemonade powerade
32.Favorite restaurant? On the Border, McCalisters, Cinzettis, BoneFish
33.Hair color? Brown..i have never even dyed it
34.What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies and Ninja Turtles
35.Spring Summer, Fall or Winter? Summer!! I like Fall, but winter always seems to intrude too early!
36.Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla
37.Coffee or tea? Coffee. I wish I liked tea, but I don't!
38.Wish you were still young? Sometimes...mostly because I would still get to have certian loved ones in my life. However, going more then 4 1/2 years back removes Cole, and I'm not about doing that!!! Life got really good when he entered the picture:)
39.Do you want your friends to email you back? No one has to, but I do think they are fun to read!
40.When was the last time you cried? yesterday..that is right, I'm hormonal. I told Cole I had an entirely knew understanding of why children cry when they are tired!
41.What did you do last night? Cole and I made a delicious dinner (pasta with salad), we baked brownies and I made Strawberry pretzel jello yumminess (not sure of the real name, but it is SO good), watched Amazing Race and The Kardashians, and then finished the night off with some Dr. Mario. A very wonderful night:)
42.Did someone not like this question? I don't think i understand...
43.What are you afraid of? Losing people I love, not living up to my potential
44.Salty or sweet? depends on my mood
45.Best quality you have? I will fight for those who can't/don't fight for themselves and I put time and energy into my relationships
46.How many years at your current job? currently jobless :)
47.Favorite day of the week? Sunday, Funday! haha..but seriously, Cole and I really try to make it a family day full of relaxation and fun!
48.How many people will you send this to? all those who read my blog!
49.How many will respond? no clue!
50.Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? I sure do!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I am LOVED!!!
This weekend was fabulous! I have always really liked Valentine's Day. I think it is just a really fun day full of love and friendship. As my last post said, Sat. started with belly pics. Super fun, but we don't get to see them until this Thurs. I'll keep you posted. Then we went to Denver to meet up with our friends Shannon and Austin to see the movie Valentines Day and go to Cinzzettis to eat. We had a wonderful time. We love getting to see Shannon and Austin and this was our second year in a row spending Valentine's Day with them...we are loving the tradition!
We got back really late on Saturday night so we decided to sleep in Sunday and go to mass Sunday afternoon. Thank the Lord I got some sleep Saturday night since Friday night I was up almost every hour. Cole snuck out of bed early on Sunday, while I continued to sleep, and surprised me with a beautiful tray of breakfast in bed (heart shaped pancakes with peanut butter and syrup, eggs, bacon, and a yummy smoothie), a homemade Valentine (like he does every year!!!), and a beautiful love letter. I couldn't have asked for anything better:) I only wish I hadn't been so full from the night before because I wasn't able to eat that much!! We cuddled in bed for hours and I got to give him his V-day gifts and the crossword puzzle I made him (which I do for him every year!). We went to church, stopped by my sister Sarah's house to see the kiddos, and then back to relaxing with pizza and the Olympics. Overall, wonderful!
Today was great too because Cole didn't have to work. We look forward to every bit of extra time we have together. Cole got the taxes done (boring) while I worked on some baby to-do items, but then we went to EPIC so I could sit in the warm pool and take all the weight off my body. Yes, that is right, I am nine months pregnant and I wore a bikini in public! I consider myself pretty brave!!! (don't worry, no pics! haha) The water felt great considering every part of my body aches pretty much 24/7. I was pretty shocked when I got out and my body was reminded of how much weight it has to carry around...ugh!
We concluded the night with dinner and the Bachelor over at the Davis household. Trust me, we offered to have them over here, or bring dinner to them, but they insisted! The food was AMAZING and Cole and i ate so so much. A little too much:) Bachelor side bar: why did Jake keep Vienna? seriously??
Sorry this was long, but there was just a lot of great things happening in the past few days. Hope you all had as good of a Valentine's Day as we did!
And, for my quote, I will use one that Cole put in the love letter he wrote me. How perfect!
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
Mother Teresa
sitting, talking, and eating for three hours!!!
I actually really liked the movie. I initially thought I probably wouldn't think it was great, but that it made the perfect movie for the holiday. Well, it was actually really cute. I still can't decide if I would buy it or watch it over and over, but I was entertained! The cast really was amazing!
As for Cinzzettis, YUM! Pregnant or not I love this place, but it was very freeing going back for as many plates as I wanted without even the littlest bit of guilt. I am obsessed with pasta, and their pizza and ice cream are the best. Of course I highly recommend it. The only bummer is that we weren't there on Sunday (actually Valentine's Day) so they didn't have the chocolate covered strawberries. Oh well! I am already trying to think of an occasion that can bring me back there...
feeling my big belly!
Love you friend!:)
We got back really late on Saturday night so we decided to sleep in Sunday and go to mass Sunday afternoon. Thank the Lord I got some sleep Saturday night since Friday night I was up almost every hour. Cole snuck out of bed early on Sunday, while I continued to sleep, and surprised me with a beautiful tray of breakfast in bed (heart shaped pancakes with peanut butter and syrup, eggs, bacon, and a yummy smoothie), a homemade Valentine (like he does every year!!!), and a beautiful love letter. I couldn't have asked for anything better:) I only wish I hadn't been so full from the night before because I wasn't able to eat that much!! We cuddled in bed for hours and I got to give him his V-day gifts and the crossword puzzle I made him (which I do for him every year!). We went to church, stopped by my sister Sarah's house to see the kiddos, and then back to relaxing with pizza and the Olympics. Overall, wonderful!
He loves me, even though I wake up looking like this! ;)
He is amazing! I am so loved!
*LOVE*
We concluded the night with dinner and the Bachelor over at the Davis household. Trust me, we offered to have them over here, or bring dinner to them, but they insisted! The food was AMAZING and Cole and i ate so so much. A little too much:) Bachelor side bar: why did Jake keep Vienna? seriously??
Sorry this was long, but there was just a lot of great things happening in the past few days. Hope you all had as good of a Valentine's Day as we did!
And, for my quote, I will use one that Cole put in the love letter he wrote me. How perfect!
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
Mother Teresa
Saturday, February 13, 2010
So there is good news, and good news!
My posts have been pretty sad and downer lately, so I am happy that I actually have some exciting things to report on. First of all, I had my 37wk doctor apt. yesterday. I have been feeling like a lot has been going on lately in regards to my body getting ready to have this little guy, but of course this is my first time so I didn't really know what I was supposed to be feeling for. Well, turns out I know my body pretty well. Here are the stats:
1.5 cm dilated
30% effaced
Cervix is soft
Position is midline
Sorry if that is TMI for some people, but I am too excited not to share! The conclusion is that our little man is most likely making his arrival sooner rather then later. The doctor was pleasantly surprised, thinks I will make it to my apt. next friday, but doesn't think I will go til my due date. Of course nothing is gauranteed, but it is just exciting to know that I'm not crazy and I was right that things were happening. I am also statistically more likely to deliver early because of my fibroid. My doctor, who I love by the way, suggested that if I happen to go until my due date that he thinks it would be a good idea to induce me at 40 weeks because of the fibroid. I really, really don't want to be induced, but it is just crazy to think that no matter what Tavian will be here in three weeks!! We are so excited to meet him!!!
Well, believe it or not, there is more exciting news. My sister Sarah was forwarded an e-mail about a photographer in town that needs pregnant models in order to expand her portfolio. She had pretty specific requirements, some of which were: due by the end of March, first child, live in Fort Collins....well, I happen to fit all of the criteria! So, at 10 this morning Cole and I get to go get professional belly pics taken. SO exciting! She also was looking for babies that are less then 10 days old. There is nothing planned yet, but i'll keep you posted if she ends up wanting to take pics of Tavey when he gets here!
(after days of telling Tavian he was welcome to come at any time, I hurriedly told him yesterday that he had to wait until after our photo shoot this morning! I think it is a safe bet we'll make it. Poor little guy is getting mixed messages! haha)
Oh, and this afternoon we are headed to Denver to celebrate Valentine's Day with our friends Shannon and Austin. We are going to the movie Valentines Day followed by dinner at Cinzettis (every pregnant woman's dream!!) We spent V-day with them at Cinzettis last year too, so I guess you could say it is becoming a bit of a tradition.
Here is to a happy day!
Shoot, I also need to give some love quotes since my last posts weren't very conducive to them.
Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.
-Barbar De Angelis
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
-Mother Teresa
Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
-Leo Buscaglia
1.5 cm dilated
30% effaced
Cervix is soft
Position is midline
Sorry if that is TMI for some people, but I am too excited not to share! The conclusion is that our little man is most likely making his arrival sooner rather then later. The doctor was pleasantly surprised, thinks I will make it to my apt. next friday, but doesn't think I will go til my due date. Of course nothing is gauranteed, but it is just exciting to know that I'm not crazy and I was right that things were happening. I am also statistically more likely to deliver early because of my fibroid. My doctor, who I love by the way, suggested that if I happen to go until my due date that he thinks it would be a good idea to induce me at 40 weeks because of the fibroid. I really, really don't want to be induced, but it is just crazy to think that no matter what Tavian will be here in three weeks!! We are so excited to meet him!!!
Well, believe it or not, there is more exciting news. My sister Sarah was forwarded an e-mail about a photographer in town that needs pregnant models in order to expand her portfolio. She had pretty specific requirements, some of which were: due by the end of March, first child, live in Fort Collins....well, I happen to fit all of the criteria! So, at 10 this morning Cole and I get to go get professional belly pics taken. SO exciting! She also was looking for babies that are less then 10 days old. There is nothing planned yet, but i'll keep you posted if she ends up wanting to take pics of Tavey when he gets here!
(after days of telling Tavian he was welcome to come at any time, I hurriedly told him yesterday that he had to wait until after our photo shoot this morning! I think it is a safe bet we'll make it. Poor little guy is getting mixed messages! haha)
Oh, and this afternoon we are headed to Denver to celebrate Valentine's Day with our friends Shannon and Austin. We are going to the movie Valentines Day followed by dinner at Cinzettis (every pregnant woman's dream!!) We spent V-day with them at Cinzettis last year too, so I guess you could say it is becoming a bit of a tradition.
Here is to a happy day!
Shoot, I also need to give some love quotes since my last posts weren't very conducive to them.
Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.
-Barbar De Angelis
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
-Mother Teresa
Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
-Leo Buscaglia
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Reflections
The funeral was last night and it was really beautiful. Amy and her siblings spoke, along with others, and she did absolutely amazing. I honestly don't think she could have done any better! The entire night was really great, very sad, but a wonderful way to honor Ed.
There seemed to be a common thread throughout the night and throughout what everyone had to say about Ed: He loved people and made time to invest in their life. Amy really touched on this a lot, and on the fact that at all times she had a father that was truly invested in her. I have known this all along, but I don't think I realized how envious I had been all this time. I don't need to tell Amy that she was lucky to have someone so invested in her life, she already knows! I think that is what drew Ed to me as well. I felt truly cared about, I felt he truly cared to know how I was doing, and I didn't even have to be his daughter. It is actually a very rare thing to find someone who truly invests in you. Who asks how your day was and actually cares to hear what the answer is. Who isn't just physically present in your life, but emotionally too. Who contacts you to find out how you are, rather then to tell you how they are. Ed was that person to Amy and to so many others. I am so happy for Amy. He father invested in her in his short time on Earth more then most parents invest in their children throughout their entire life.
It was great for Cole and I to see this. We never doubt the way we invest in each other, but it made us realize the importance of investing in our children. I think Ed understood the importance of the parent/child dynamic and made investing in his children a top priority. Although I already knew this about Ed, it was great to have it reiterated and to see how much his actions impacted the lives of others. Cole and I have a whole new desire to invest in our children...to truly be there for them.
I know this was somewhat random, but it was just some of my final reflections on the matter.
I also want to take this time to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers over the past few days. I really, really appreciate it. I am glad to have all of you in my life, in one way or another, and your e-mails, messages, calls, and texts have really been encouraging. Please continue to pray for the Davis family!
There seemed to be a common thread throughout the night and throughout what everyone had to say about Ed: He loved people and made time to invest in their life. Amy really touched on this a lot, and on the fact that at all times she had a father that was truly invested in her. I have known this all along, but I don't think I realized how envious I had been all this time. I don't need to tell Amy that she was lucky to have someone so invested in her life, she already knows! I think that is what drew Ed to me as well. I felt truly cared about, I felt he truly cared to know how I was doing, and I didn't even have to be his daughter. It is actually a very rare thing to find someone who truly invests in you. Who asks how your day was and actually cares to hear what the answer is. Who isn't just physically present in your life, but emotionally too. Who contacts you to find out how you are, rather then to tell you how they are. Ed was that person to Amy and to so many others. I am so happy for Amy. He father invested in her in his short time on Earth more then most parents invest in their children throughout their entire life.
It was great for Cole and I to see this. We never doubt the way we invest in each other, but it made us realize the importance of investing in our children. I think Ed understood the importance of the parent/child dynamic and made investing in his children a top priority. Although I already knew this about Ed, it was great to have it reiterated and to see how much his actions impacted the lives of others. Cole and I have a whole new desire to invest in our children...to truly be there for them.
I know this was somewhat random, but it was just some of my final reflections on the matter.
I also want to take this time to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers over the past few days. I really, really appreciate it. I am glad to have all of you in my life, in one way or another, and your e-mails, messages, calls, and texts have really been encouraging. Please continue to pray for the Davis family!
Friday, February 5, 2010
This is not quite the post I was anticipating writing today. That is because yesterday everything was different. Yesterday the world made a little more sense. Yesterday my best friend was shielded from a reality that I know all to well, and she was protected from having to experience such traumatic pain. Today is a new day, and with it everything has seemed to change.
For those of you who don't know, Amy Davis is my best friend. Her and I met senior year and we have practically been iseperable since. Her family and I have grown so close over the years, and I always felt such a blanket of love from her parents. Well, this morning her father died. Ed Davis passed away from what they believe to be a heart attack. He was such an amazing man, loved by so many and so generous. He touched so many lives and his absence is going to be a huge loss for so many. I spent the entire day with her and her family at the hospital, honored that they would consider me family and let me partake in their suffering, but feeling so useless...not knowing what to say or what to do.
Of course being there brings back emotions of my own loss. Yes, I have lost a parent. I think having a similar experience, in many ways, only makes it worse. It is worse because I can't tell her everything is going to be ok. I can't tell her that it is going to get easier. I can't tell her that she won't think about it every single day for the rest of her life. It has been 20 years and there are days that I still cry as if I lost my mother yesterday. I am sure anyone who has lost a parent can relate. As hard as today was for her and for her family, I can't deny the fact that in the coming weeks things are going to get even harder. It will begin to become a reality, and they will begin to see the ripple effect of his loss. There will be no area in their life that will be shielded from the affects of this tragedy. I want to be more encouraging, but it is hard to deny the reality. I can say that she now has an unstoppable advocate for her in Heaven. I can say that this experience will make her a stronger person..she will find strength she never knew she had. I can say that God has a plan for her and her family, and that in all things He will love her and guide her. I hope these are the things that she will be able to be encouraged by.
Amy has been such a rock of support for me over the years. She is always there when I need her. Now she needs me and I am at a loss of what to do. How can I be there for her?? Obviously I will be what she needs me to be when she needs it. I just wish there was something to be done that would ease her pain or comfort her. We know that Ed is in heaven, and we know that he is now with my mother, but it doesn't make us miss him any less. Amy's life is now forever changed. I know God has a plan, and I am trying to find strength in the fact that His will is always better then our own, but at the moment it is proving to be difficult. I am so sad for her and her family. Seeing her mother was heartbreaking. At the samet time, I am said for my loss. I was so looking forward to introducing Tavian to Ed. Ed has always shown such love and support to Cole and me, and I know he was looking forward to meeting our little one. Tavian would have been showed so much love by him, and now he is gone... Trust me, I know this is nothing compared to what Amy's family is facing now, with the loss of a father/husband/brother/etc., but Ed's loss will be felt on many levels.
Amy, I love you. I am here for you. I will be what you need me to be. Never hesitate to share this cross with me.
For those of you who don't know, Amy Davis is my best friend. Her and I met senior year and we have practically been iseperable since. Her family and I have grown so close over the years, and I always felt such a blanket of love from her parents. Well, this morning her father died. Ed Davis passed away from what they believe to be a heart attack. He was such an amazing man, loved by so many and so generous. He touched so many lives and his absence is going to be a huge loss for so many. I spent the entire day with her and her family at the hospital, honored that they would consider me family and let me partake in their suffering, but feeling so useless...not knowing what to say or what to do.
Of course being there brings back emotions of my own loss. Yes, I have lost a parent. I think having a similar experience, in many ways, only makes it worse. It is worse because I can't tell her everything is going to be ok. I can't tell her that it is going to get easier. I can't tell her that she won't think about it every single day for the rest of her life. It has been 20 years and there are days that I still cry as if I lost my mother yesterday. I am sure anyone who has lost a parent can relate. As hard as today was for her and for her family, I can't deny the fact that in the coming weeks things are going to get even harder. It will begin to become a reality, and they will begin to see the ripple effect of his loss. There will be no area in their life that will be shielded from the affects of this tragedy. I want to be more encouraging, but it is hard to deny the reality. I can say that she now has an unstoppable advocate for her in Heaven. I can say that this experience will make her a stronger person..she will find strength she never knew she had. I can say that God has a plan for her and her family, and that in all things He will love her and guide her. I hope these are the things that she will be able to be encouraged by.
Amy has been such a rock of support for me over the years. She is always there when I need her. Now she needs me and I am at a loss of what to do. How can I be there for her?? Obviously I will be what she needs me to be when she needs it. I just wish there was something to be done that would ease her pain or comfort her. We know that Ed is in heaven, and we know that he is now with my mother, but it doesn't make us miss him any less. Amy's life is now forever changed. I know God has a plan, and I am trying to find strength in the fact that His will is always better then our own, but at the moment it is proving to be difficult. I am so sad for her and her family. Seeing her mother was heartbreaking. At the samet time, I am said for my loss. I was so looking forward to introducing Tavian to Ed. Ed has always shown such love and support to Cole and me, and I know he was looking forward to meeting our little one. Tavian would have been showed so much love by him, and now he is gone... Trust me, I know this is nothing compared to what Amy's family is facing now, with the loss of a father/husband/brother/etc., but Ed's loss will be felt on many levels.
Amy, I love you. I am here for you. I will be what you need me to be. Never hesitate to share this cross with me.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Baby Shower Goodness!
Well, last Sunday Cole's mom and sister-in-law, Brianne, threw me and his step-sister a baby shower. His step-sister is due just a few weeks after me so it worked out really well. It was such a great time and I am really thankful to have gotten to have had that experience with Cole's side of the family! Everything was decorated so nicely and we got some really cute stuff!
On Monday morning I went into work early (7:45) for what I thought was a work meeting, and I grumbled the whole way there about how tired I was. I literally rolled out of bed and showed up in my sweat pants. Little did I know that this work meeting was also a surprise baby shower with all of my co-workers! Talk about being surprised..and I'm so glad I showed up! Ha, that would have been horrible! I have loved working at this job and with all the wonderful people, and I can't get over how nice it was of them to throw me a shower. No pics, but again we got some super cute stuff. And, bonus, I already wrote all the thank you notes! YES!
I really liked the idea Courtney had about making her Feb. blogs have something to do with the month of love. I'm not sure exactly how she is going to go about it, but I thought I would participate to some degree. I LOVE quotes, specifically quotes about love, so I decided that every time I blog this month (who knows how often that will actually be) that I will include a love quote.
So, here is the first
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
--Robert A. Heinlein
Cole, Jessica, her husband Jason, and I getting ready to open gifts. *and yes, there IS a basketball under my shirt:)
Jessica's Aunt Tina made this AMAZING cake..and it was so yummy too!
Her Aunt Cathy made this AMAZING diaper cake! I am so impressed with how talented they all are!
I look sick rick, but the cake is amazing!
Just admiring the cake some more! You wouldn't believe all the stuff that was in it!
Of course, I didn't get any pictures with Cole's mom or with Brianne! Such a bummer. We brought our camera but didn't end up taking any pictures. Thankfully Cole's mom took these and she e-mailed them to me. Thank you Tina:)
I really liked the idea Courtney had about making her Feb. blogs have something to do with the month of love. I'm not sure exactly how she is going to go about it, but I thought I would participate to some degree. I LOVE quotes, specifically quotes about love, so I decided that every time I blog this month (who knows how often that will actually be) that I will include a love quote.
So, here is the first
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
--Robert A. Heinlein
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