American Honey

Part of my birthday celebration came last Saturday with the Tim McGraw/Lady Antebellum concert. Amy, Elissa and I (two of my good friends) decided we would do a big birthday celebration for all three of our birthdays and go to the concert. It was a pretty big deal because it was my first official night out with the girls. And let me tell, we had quite the time! The concert itself was a bit of a let down. We got there right when the concert was starting, but the place was already competely packed and we ended up having to stand as far back as was possible...meaning we couldn't see anything!! Bummer. The speakers weren't great when Lady Antebellum performed so we honestly didn't get to even hear much of them. Double Bummer. Thankfully it wasn't anything a few drinks and a lot of laughter couldn't fix!! I'm pretty sure I laughed the entire night..my abs were sore for days! Amy and I eventually just sat down and with our drinks and just laughed and took silly pictures!!

Cheers!!!

Scary "Joelle" eyes!

Don't let this fool you...we lifted the camera up above our heads! Lol!

Just reacting to the craziness around us!

Such a fun time with friends!

As fun as it was, I don't think I'll be doing anything like that anytime soon.  It was way too much work trying to coordinate pumping, being away from Tavian, and staying up so late!  I was recovering for days because my bedtime is usually 9.  It was fun, but moms just aren't meant to stay out that late!!!

p.s. does anyone else find the picture uploader really frustrating?!?

p.s.s. I'm bummed none of the pictures show my cowboy boots...they are so so cute!

My Birthday Buddy

My birthday was last Thursday and I turned 24.  Crazy how fast time is passing!!  I honestly continued to forget that my birthday was coming up.  I guess as a mom there are just too many other important things to worry about, and my birthday is no longer a big deal to me.  Cole kept asking what I wanted to do, or if I wanted to get together with friends, but these days it all just seems like more work then it is worth.  I know, i sound like a downer!  The good news is that my Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jim came into town to celebrate with us.  My Aunt Sarah and I have the same birthday so we like to try and do something to celebrate together.  Last year I visited her in New Mexico, so this year she came here.  They got into town on our birthday and my Uncle Jim was nice enough to make a big birthday dinner for us.  It was nice staying in because that way we could put Tavian down for bed.  He made muscles on linguine...i know, kind of crazy!  I wasn't initially thrilled with the idea because the whole "muscles" thing grossed me out, but they weren't half bad and I got to try something new!  It was a beautiful dinner with great company and we ate out on our patio with beautiful weather.  Overall, pretty darn wonderful!
The next night we had my dad and my sister and her family over for dinner, partly for the birthdays, but more so they could visit with my aunt and uncle while they were in town.  It was another great evening.  I got some lovely gifts as well.  Beautiful lace cami tank tops, gift certificate to panera and PF Changs, a candle, a book that I can't wait to read, some money, and my lovely husband got me a jaw bone blue tooth head set and another charm for my necklace. The charm has his name on it!  Great gifts!
We had so much fun with my Aunt and Uncle while they were here and I'm so happy that Tavian got to spend more time with them.  My Aunt Sarah is like a fill in Grandma but she hadn't seen Tavian since he was two weeks old.  She was loving it...as was he!!
Thank you all for the birthday wishes and for making me feel special.  Even if I forgot it was my birthday, it was nice to know my friends and family didn't! :)

Playing on the quilt that Aunt Sarah made for him!

Rocking like they did when he was just two weeks old

Most of the pictures were taken on my Aunt's camera...I wish I would have taken more on mine!

New Moms Thumb

That is what my doctor informed me I had when I saw him today.  My thumb/wrist has been hurting for about a week now, and was getting progressivly worse.  I finally decided this morning that I should see my doctor when I had difficult picking Tavian up out of his crib.  Not good!  The doc informed me that this is very common in new moms, and that it comes from the strain put on the thumb and wrist when holding the baby.  Not the worst thing ever, but now I am stuck wearing a brace on my arm for the next ten days.  If that doesn't do the trick then I have to get physcial therapy and would eventually have to get a cortozone shot.  I'm hoping the brace is sufficient.  Especially because I have since talked to my sister, Ellen, who happened to have the same thing but she did have to get the shot.  She informed me it was very, very painful.  Here is hoping the brace works wonders!!! :)

Tony, Tony..

"Tony, Tony, look around.
Something is lost that must be found."

This has always been my mantra whenever something I need goes missing. (kind of happens a lot...especially in regards to my keys and phone)  It's because I am asking St. Anthony, Patron Saint of lost things, to help me find what I am looking for.  He has been very helpful to me over the years!  Well, turns out I really need help this time.  Somehow I managed to lose a book I have been writing in since the day I found out I was pregnant.  It is called Love Letters to My Baby and it is the most beautiful book ever!  I woudl recomend it to anyone who is pregnant.  My heart and soul are spread among the pages, and I have always looked forward to when Tavian was old enough and I could share it with him.  I wrote of the mother I hoped to be to him, and the man I hoped he would one day become.  I'm pretty much heartbroken.  It may sound silly to some, but this really meant a lot to me.  I would have loved to have letters written specifically to me from my mother.  So, not only have I enlisted St. Anthony's help, I am enlisting yours as well!  Please pray I find it, or look around your house and make sure I didn't leave it there (if I have been to your house anytime in the last 4 months!)  Just so we are clear, here is what you are looking for :)

Thanks!

This Too Shall Pass...

Or will it??
This is a saying my Aunt Barb has always reminded me of throughout the years whenever I was going through something tough.  I was just recently reminding someone else of this very saying, but obviously wasn't paying close attention to it myself.  If you couldn't guess, it has been a rough few weeks.  Ever since Chicago things with Tavian have been somewhat difficult.  (by the way, i started a blog about my trip, but lets be honest, it may never be completed)  Anyway, since coming home things just feel out of whack.  First Tavian got sick, then I noticed his teeth were coming, he has been trying to roll off of his tummy which serves as a distraction as well as frustration, and then yesterday got his four month shots.  Basically it is one thing after another, and I am just really missing the familiarity of what used to be.  Tavey is still an amazing, happy little boy, but I just feel like everything is changing (which realistically, it is!).  The hardest thing has been that he has started fighting naps like CRAZY, and even when he does end up taking one, they are onlly 30 minutes.  I mean this very literally.  For 29 minutes he won't move a muscle, but right at 30 everything changes.  What happened to the baby who would nap for 2 hours easily??  Because I have had to crack down on the nap situation, I am also feeling a little less then perfect in the mom realm.  I feel horrible and have ended up crying many, many days.  I hate seeing him hurting or crying, but I know how important his sleep is.  The irrational part of me starts to believe that he doesn't love me as much, or that he feels abandoned by me.  Silly, maybe, but I don't have the confidence I used to.  Everything has changed at such a fast rate that I no longer feel compentent.  I know that as his mother I have the ability to care for him better then anyone else on this planet, but right now it feels like I never know what he needs.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel like I am his source of comfort.  It is heartbreaking.  I know that I am sounding a bit extreme, but I love this child so much, and I just want to feel like we are on the same page again. 
This too shall pass....This too shall pass....This too shall pass...   I wish I was closer to believing it!!
Sorry for the pitty party.  I need to remind myself of all the blessings.  Like the fact that I have a perfect, beautiful baby boy that brings more love and joy into my life then I knew possible.  Or the fact that twice this week Tavian has left for 11 hours straight at night without waking!!! (i know, its a big deal!)  Or that my husband is such a big help, and we have a roof over our heads and he has a job he loves.  And that Tavian is healthy!!
Yes, the blessings are abundant.  Lord, help me to focus on the blessings, and cling to the knowledge that with You I can get through anything.

A Perfect Gift

This is a necklace I just got in the mail from my sister, Andrea.  It is a mother's day/birthday gift and I absolutely LOVE it.  My friend Sydnie has one and I guess Andrea heard me say how much I like it, so she surprised me with one.  Such a perfect gift :)

 I'm not the only one that loves my gift!!!

The Other Larkin

Cole and I had a wonderful time celebrating our dear friend Brian Larkin's 30th birthday the other night.  Our little Tavian Larkin James is named after Brian, and we were so happy we got to be part of the occasion.  The night was amazing, full of large quantities of delicious food, and great friends.  It was a dinner party at the seminarians house in Denver (one of the most beautiful houses ever), and we had to be a bit creative because it started at 6, while Tavian goes to bed at 7.  Normally it would have been easy to just say we couldn't make it, but I'm so happy that Cole and I made it work.  We brought Tavian's playpen and since he is such a rockstar nighttime sleeper, we just set it up in a bedroom and put him down for the night.  It worked out perfectly!
When I say there was yummy food, it is an understatement.  One of the priests that lives with Brian in the house decided to cook him an Italian feast.  There was a beautiful table set up outside with candles and twinkle lights, an endless supply of wine and beer, even a menu written in Italian detailing the many foods we would be eating.  Did I mention that he was cooking for days and that everything, even the noodles themselves were made from scratch???  Yeah, it couldn't have been more authentic if I was actually in Italy!  I guess this priest had studied in Italy and had spent a good deal of time learning to cook Italian.  The evening was perfect, and it was also the perfect way to honor such a dear friend.  We all gave him birthday toasts at the end of the night, but of course I didn't end up saying everything that I would have liked to.  Oh well, he knows I love him :)  He has made such a profound impact on our lives, and I know he will continue to do so.
The only problem with the evening is that Cole wasn't feeling well to his stomach.  He ended up going and laying down in the same room Tavian was in for the majority of the night, which unfortunately means he missed out on the amazing food!  I took a picture of the menu, just so everyone could see that I wasn't exagerating about how much food we were served (yes, there were "waiters" serving us), but looking back I really should have taken pictures of the food itself.  It truly was that amazing!

 Brian Larkin smiling with Tavian Larkin James

We love you Brian:)

Companions of Christ Seminarians (at least the ones that were present)

A picture of the big group

How pretty!!

THE MENU!!!...and yes, that is three appetizers, 9 entrees, and 2 desserts!  I was very full:)