So tired of being tired...

That pretty much sums it up! This has actually been a pretty rough last few days. I am just exhausted all the time, and it is hard when you never feel like yourself anymore. I know it is worth it, and I know it won't be forever, but sometimes it seems like it is never ending. Cole is so wonderful and I am SO lucky to have him in my life and part of this experience. But, no matter how much he is there for me there is still that part of me that feels alone. It isn't possible for him to truly know how I am feeling, and I don't expect him to, but it would def. be easier if he did. There is so much pressure and responsibility on my shoulders and it gets scary to think about it all. I have to be conscious of so many things all at one time to make sure the baby is safe and well cared for. Sometimes I worry that I am not doing a good enough job, or that I'm not aware of the baby as much as I should be. I am sure as I get bigger, and as I start to feel my little one move, that it will be hard for the pregnancy not to be on the forefront of my mind.
I have also been a bit discouraged lately. Work is going pretty well, but I was basically just told that they were going to fire me at the end of December so that they would have time to train and hire someone before the start of the new semester. I had thought I would work until my due date and then hopefully come back after I had the baby. They are saying now I can only come back if they have an opening. I understand, I guess, but it is hard not to feel like I am being persecuted because of being pregnant. I also just signed up to do massage therapy courses in order to become certified and start my own business. I thought it was going to be perfect. I could get all the course work done in 4 months, putting me at the end of dec., and then I could do the hands on training from mid jan. to mid feb. Everything would be completed in time for baby! Well, not so much. I just found out they won't let me do the hands on training if i am in my 3rd tri-mester. I am going to do my best to get around this, or deal with it in time, but it def. serves as another discouragment.

Who knew I could be this tired?..and I mean so SO tired!. Work drains my energy, partly because I am bored, but mostly because there doesn't seem to be enough time in a day to sleep! I thought this sleepiness was supposed to get better with the 2nd tr-mester, but really I am more tired then ever. The baby is just wearing me out! I am hoping that this week is just a bit of a slump and that I'll be right back up in the next week. Here is to waking up!!!!!!!