A moment to myself!

Tavian is napping and I actually have a second to write...but now the question is, what shoudl I write about?  The house is a mess, I am pretty exhausted today, but I decided I would prefer to just take some time to myself instead of worrying about all the craziness. 
I really want to come up with some sort of routine for cleaning the house.  There is always just so much to get done, but my time is pretty limited.  Plus, I have been working myself to exhaustion the last few days because I have been cleaning and getting stuff done every waking moment that is available to me.  That is a recipe for getting burnt out.  If I have more of a shedule/routine then I can commit to getting those few things done in the day, spend time with my little love bug, and use the rest of my free time to relax a bit or maybe take a nap.  Trust me, I use the term "free time" pretty loosely.  The problem is figuring out when to find the time to make the schedule..haha.  That is a bit how life is lately...I need to put "make a to do list" on my to do list, if you know what I'm saying!
That all being said, I can not begin to describe the joy that Tavian has brought to my life.  I believe he is helping me become a better version of myself.  It is interesting because I felt that same thing when Cole came into my life, and now with Tavian it is at a whole new level.  I used to always want to go to daily Mass, but I was lucky if I could commit to once a week.  You all  know my obsession with sleep, and before it was just way too hard for me to get up in time for 8am mass (trust me, I know that is pretty redic!)  But, now I am up every morning by 6:30am and we have made mass a part of our routine.  I LOVE it!  Tavian gets his feeding, he happily plays in his swing while I shower, we both get dressed, and then we head off to mass.  I put Tavian in the moby when we get there and then (as always with the moby) he goes right to sleep.  It is such a special time for us, and I now have no problem making it part of our every day!
Tavian has started smiling at us in the past week, and I truly have never seen anything cuter!  He has stolen my heart, and even in my most tired moments, I absolutely love my time with him.  I feel he is trully aware of who I am.  He gives me the funniest facial expressions and I can tell he is thinking funny things about his momma!  I also feel like we have gotten pretty lucky with the little guy.  I know things could always change, but so far he has slept really well.  I dont' think I am exhausted because I am not getting enough sleep at night, but more because of how much work goes into everything I do throughout the day.  I understand now what everyone means when they say motherhood is far more then a full time job!!! 
Nights are going well, which I am very thankful for, and now I am just trying to work on the naps during the day.  It is hit or miss with nap time.  Cole and I are using the Baby Wise approach (basically a eat/wake/sleep cycle) but there is still a lot of room for trial and error.  I feel quite a bit of pressure being the one at home all day and being responsible for implementing a routine.  Trust me, it is much more difficult then it seems!  I am hoping all the hard work will pay off in the end!!  As much as I believe routine is healthy for children, i am the first to admit that the routine is also for me.  I thrive on structure and I love having some idea, especially in parenting where everything is new, of what is coming next!  Tavey's bedtime is between 7and 730, and it has been working great for us.  I especially like it because it gives Cole and I some alone time at night before bed.  Not too much time because we are in the habit of going to bed pretty early!
Breastfeeding is still a lot of work, but as always totally worth it.  I am a little worried about my milk supply, but the good news is Tavey is sucking a lot better and I am finally in a lot less pain.  Thank goodness!  I will get in touch with a lactation consultant today (for like the 90th time!) to see what all I can do to help increase my milk supply.  I need to make sure my little man is getting full at every feeding!  I long for the day when i don't even have to think about breastfeeding because everything is going so well.  I may never get there, but I am thankful for every day that Tavey and I get to spend that special time together.  I keep telling Cole and one of these days I am going to go treat myself to clothes because of all of my accomplishments.  After all, I have never worked so hard for anything in my life, and all my hard work has saved us tons of money on formula!  So, one of these days I will get my reward! ...although every feeding is a form of reward for me :) 
Well, Tavey is still sleeping which means this is turning out to be an okay nap day...so far anyway!  Maybe I'll have the time to post pics..cross your fingers!