I know not all of you out there are moms, but some of you are, and I got this e-mail forwarded to me and it is all so true! I really enjoyed it!
Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom
May we always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A moment to myself!
Tavian is napping and I actually have a second to write...but now the question is, what shoudl I write about? The house is a mess, I am pretty exhausted today, but I decided I would prefer to just take some time to myself instead of worrying about all the craziness.
I really want to come up with some sort of routine for cleaning the house. There is always just so much to get done, but my time is pretty limited. Plus, I have been working myself to exhaustion the last few days because I have been cleaning and getting stuff done every waking moment that is available to me. That is a recipe for getting burnt out. If I have more of a shedule/routine then I can commit to getting those few things done in the day, spend time with my little love bug, and use the rest of my free time to relax a bit or maybe take a nap. Trust me, I use the term "free time" pretty loosely. The problem is figuring out when to find the time to make the schedule..haha. That is a bit how life is lately...I need to put "make a to do list" on my to do list, if you know what I'm saying!
That all being said, I can not begin to describe the joy that Tavian has brought to my life. I believe he is helping me become a better version of myself. It is interesting because I felt that same thing when Cole came into my life, and now with Tavian it is at a whole new level. I used to always want to go to daily Mass, but I was lucky if I could commit to once a week. You all know my obsession with sleep, and before it was just way too hard for me to get up in time for 8am mass (trust me, I know that is pretty redic!) But, now I am up every morning by 6:30am and we have made mass a part of our routine. I LOVE it! Tavian gets his feeding, he happily plays in his swing while I shower, we both get dressed, and then we head off to mass. I put Tavian in the moby when we get there and then (as always with the moby) he goes right to sleep. It is such a special time for us, and I now have no problem making it part of our every day!
Tavian has started smiling at us in the past week, and I truly have never seen anything cuter! He has stolen my heart, and even in my most tired moments, I absolutely love my time with him. I feel he is trully aware of who I am. He gives me the funniest facial expressions and I can tell he is thinking funny things about his momma! I also feel like we have gotten pretty lucky with the little guy. I know things could always change, but so far he has slept really well. I dont' think I am exhausted because I am not getting enough sleep at night, but more because of how much work goes into everything I do throughout the day. I understand now what everyone means when they say motherhood is far more then a full time job!!!
Nights are going well, which I am very thankful for, and now I am just trying to work on the naps during the day. It is hit or miss with nap time. Cole and I are using the Baby Wise approach (basically a eat/wake/sleep cycle) but there is still a lot of room for trial and error. I feel quite a bit of pressure being the one at home all day and being responsible for implementing a routine. Trust me, it is much more difficult then it seems! I am hoping all the hard work will pay off in the end!! As much as I believe routine is healthy for children, i am the first to admit that the routine is also for me. I thrive on structure and I love having some idea, especially in parenting where everything is new, of what is coming next! Tavey's bedtime is between 7and 730, and it has been working great for us. I especially like it because it gives Cole and I some alone time at night before bed. Not too much time because we are in the habit of going to bed pretty early!
Breastfeeding is still a lot of work, but as always totally worth it. I am a little worried about my milk supply, but the good news is Tavey is sucking a lot better and I am finally in a lot less pain. Thank goodness! I will get in touch with a lactation consultant today (for like the 90th time!) to see what all I can do to help increase my milk supply. I need to make sure my little man is getting full at every feeding! I long for the day when i don't even have to think about breastfeeding because everything is going so well. I may never get there, but I am thankful for every day that Tavey and I get to spend that special time together. I keep telling Cole and one of these days I am going to go treat myself to clothes because of all of my accomplishments. After all, I have never worked so hard for anything in my life, and all my hard work has saved us tons of money on formula! So, one of these days I will get my reward! ...although every feeding is a form of reward for me :)
Well, Tavey is still sleeping which means this is turning out to be an okay nap day...so far anyway! Maybe I'll have the time to post pics..cross your fingers!
I really want to come up with some sort of routine for cleaning the house. There is always just so much to get done, but my time is pretty limited. Plus, I have been working myself to exhaustion the last few days because I have been cleaning and getting stuff done every waking moment that is available to me. That is a recipe for getting burnt out. If I have more of a shedule/routine then I can commit to getting those few things done in the day, spend time with my little love bug, and use the rest of my free time to relax a bit or maybe take a nap. Trust me, I use the term "free time" pretty loosely. The problem is figuring out when to find the time to make the schedule..haha. That is a bit how life is lately...I need to put "make a to do list" on my to do list, if you know what I'm saying!
That all being said, I can not begin to describe the joy that Tavian has brought to my life. I believe he is helping me become a better version of myself. It is interesting because I felt that same thing when Cole came into my life, and now with Tavian it is at a whole new level. I used to always want to go to daily Mass, but I was lucky if I could commit to once a week. You all know my obsession with sleep, and before it was just way too hard for me to get up in time for 8am mass (trust me, I know that is pretty redic!) But, now I am up every morning by 6:30am and we have made mass a part of our routine. I LOVE it! Tavian gets his feeding, he happily plays in his swing while I shower, we both get dressed, and then we head off to mass. I put Tavian in the moby when we get there and then (as always with the moby) he goes right to sleep. It is such a special time for us, and I now have no problem making it part of our every day!
Tavian has started smiling at us in the past week, and I truly have never seen anything cuter! He has stolen my heart, and even in my most tired moments, I absolutely love my time with him. I feel he is trully aware of who I am. He gives me the funniest facial expressions and I can tell he is thinking funny things about his momma! I also feel like we have gotten pretty lucky with the little guy. I know things could always change, but so far he has slept really well. I dont' think I am exhausted because I am not getting enough sleep at night, but more because of how much work goes into everything I do throughout the day. I understand now what everyone means when they say motherhood is far more then a full time job!!!
Nights are going well, which I am very thankful for, and now I am just trying to work on the naps during the day. It is hit or miss with nap time. Cole and I are using the Baby Wise approach (basically a eat/wake/sleep cycle) but there is still a lot of room for trial and error. I feel quite a bit of pressure being the one at home all day and being responsible for implementing a routine. Trust me, it is much more difficult then it seems! I am hoping all the hard work will pay off in the end!! As much as I believe routine is healthy for children, i am the first to admit that the routine is also for me. I thrive on structure and I love having some idea, especially in parenting where everything is new, of what is coming next! Tavey's bedtime is between 7and 730, and it has been working great for us. I especially like it because it gives Cole and I some alone time at night before bed. Not too much time because we are in the habit of going to bed pretty early!
Breastfeeding is still a lot of work, but as always totally worth it. I am a little worried about my milk supply, but the good news is Tavey is sucking a lot better and I am finally in a lot less pain. Thank goodness! I will get in touch with a lactation consultant today (for like the 90th time!) to see what all I can do to help increase my milk supply. I need to make sure my little man is getting full at every feeding! I long for the day when i don't even have to think about breastfeeding because everything is going so well. I may never get there, but I am thankful for every day that Tavey and I get to spend that special time together. I keep telling Cole and one of these days I am going to go treat myself to clothes because of all of my accomplishments. After all, I have never worked so hard for anything in my life, and all my hard work has saved us tons of money on formula! So, one of these days I will get my reward! ...although every feeding is a form of reward for me :)
Well, Tavey is still sleeping which means this is turning out to be an okay nap day...so far anyway! Maybe I'll have the time to post pics..cross your fingers!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The Good Life
Time continues to fly by, and I continue to struggle to keep up with everything. This is my new life and I am still adjusting and getting used to it. This isn't a bad thing at all, but it will take time to get used to. I am really learning a lot through motherhood. First of all, I realized just how lazy I was beforehand. I would go through the day, slowly gettin stuff done here and there. Now, I move like I am on fast forward trying to get as much done as I possibly can in the short amount of time that Tavey is sleeping or resting by himself. I get a lot more done in the time that I do have, but the opportunities just don't come up as often. I also love that I am being pushed to my limits. I am someone who LOVES to sleep! Seriously, it is on my list of fav. things to do. Well, sleep doesn't come with the territory of motherhood, and even though it can be hard, I am still surviving! Turns out I can live on less sleep! And, at every moment there is an opportunity to sacrifice for my little one. I am constantly reminded that life isn't just about me anymore, and that is a good thing! I really think having a child has already helped me become a better person. Just another reason to be thankful for my bundle of joy! It is easy for me to always assume that change is bad. Yes, sometimes change is bad, but not always. I realize that nothing in my life is ever going to be quite the same, but maybe everything from now on will be much better! Tavian is a positive change!
The Trace Adkins/Martina McBride concert was amazing! I am so thankful that Ashley gave me such a fun opportunity to get out of the house for a bit. We had a blast together, as always, and Martina rocked it! She is so amazing and I love all of her songs. She sounded just as good live as she does recorded!!! Ashley and I had a lot to laugh about, especially because there are always some pretty interesting characters at country concerts. We debated between watching the concert, or watching the crazies next to us! Oh, and I got to drink a beer for one of the first times since i was pregnant. We were all excited and searched the vendors until we found better options then Coors or Bud Light. Finally we found one with Easy Street..yum! When we got to the counter I asked if they had any orange slices. They did! I was getting even more excited...until...the old man behind the counter poured my drink into a glass and then took my orange slice into his bare hand, squeezed it between his fist and dropped it into my glass. Sick Rick! I was in too much shock to say something! Ashley got her drink as I sat discustingly staring at my beer. She tipped the guy and we started to walk away. I informed her, "he lost his tip the minute he put his grimy hands all over my orange slice!" Turns out she had seen the entire thing and was totally grossed out as well! I'm not gonna lie, it was really difficult to take that first drink..(and second and third, etc) I just kept seeing his nasty hands, but at the same time, I wasn't about to give up my opportunity to have a drink with a friend after all these months! Yes, I should have said something right away, but apparently i was in too much shock. We laughed about this for the majority of the night, and at least it makes for a good story! And, most importantly, it didn't take away from the rockin concert!!!
Speaking of country concerts, Ames, Elissa and I have decided that we will celebrate all of our birthdays by going to the Lady Antebellum/Tim McGraw concert in July. So excited! Great music with the best of friends:)
The Trace Adkins/Martina McBride concert was amazing! I am so thankful that Ashley gave me such a fun opportunity to get out of the house for a bit. We had a blast together, as always, and Martina rocked it! She is so amazing and I love all of her songs. She sounded just as good live as she does recorded!!! Ashley and I had a lot to laugh about, especially because there are always some pretty interesting characters at country concerts. We debated between watching the concert, or watching the crazies next to us! Oh, and I got to drink a beer for one of the first times since i was pregnant. We were all excited and searched the vendors until we found better options then Coors or Bud Light. Finally we found one with Easy Street..yum! When we got to the counter I asked if they had any orange slices. They did! I was getting even more excited...until...the old man behind the counter poured my drink into a glass and then took my orange slice into his bare hand, squeezed it between his fist and dropped it into my glass. Sick Rick! I was in too much shock to say something! Ashley got her drink as I sat discustingly staring at my beer. She tipped the guy and we started to walk away. I informed her, "he lost his tip the minute he put his grimy hands all over my orange slice!" Turns out she had seen the entire thing and was totally grossed out as well! I'm not gonna lie, it was really difficult to take that first drink..(and second and third, etc) I just kept seeing his nasty hands, but at the same time, I wasn't about to give up my opportunity to have a drink with a friend after all these months! Yes, I should have said something right away, but apparently i was in too much shock. We laughed about this for the majority of the night, and at least it makes for a good story! And, most importantly, it didn't take away from the rockin concert!!!
Speaking of country concerts, Ames, Elissa and I have decided that we will celebrate all of our birthdays by going to the Lady Antebellum/Tim McGraw concert in July. So excited! Great music with the best of friends:)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Randoms
It is sad that during a time in my life when I would want ot be blogging the most, just to keep track of these precious moments with my little guy, I have the absolute least amount of time. I guess my time is better spent actually enjoying the precious time with him then just writing about it! Oh well, I guess I'll just write what I can when I can.
First of all, one month has already gone by. Are you kidding me? Tavian is getting so darn big. I had him weighed last Friday and he was 9lbs 11oz. I wanted to weigh him again today, but I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow because things just keep coming up!
In the last week and a half Tavian has really started making eye contact and it is so much fun. I love watching him start to really pay attention to what is happening around him. He looks me right in the eye and all I keep wondering is if he knows how loved he is. I wonder if all the kisses I shower on him every day make him feel more loved. I sure hope so. I hope not a day goes by that he doesn't feel cherished in every way.
For the past two Tuesdays my Aunt Barb has been coming over in the mornings to give me a few hours to sleep. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Of course it means a lot because I would do anything these days for some sleep, but it means even more because Tavian gets to spend that time with her. I spent much of my time growing up with my Aunt Barb and they are some of my fav. memories. I love that Tavian is already getting to experience some of that, and I love thinking about him growing up feeling close to her. She is such a blessing in our lives!
Also, Cole's mom has been visiting on Fridays. This is another special treat for us. I love the company and help, and I love that Tavian gets this special time with his Grammy. I wish my mom was here to shower love on him, but it is good knowing that even though she can't be here, that Tavian gets lots of love and attention from the Grammy that he does have!
The cutest thing happened the other day..Tavey found his thumb for the first time. It was completely random and he hasn't quite figured out how to do it again (even though he tries), but I even took pics because it was so adorable. I try and post them soon.
As for breastfeeding, it is still a struggle. Yesterday and today I have pretty much only been pumping because I am in too much pain to do anything else. Oh how I have missed getting to feed my little guy. Late last night I gave in and fed him once just for a bit because I couldn't take it any longer. It was such a special time! I really don't know how long I can keep this up, but I also don't know how I'll ever give it up! I just want Tavian to know how hard I fought for this, and I never want to forget, no matter the outcome, how much it meant to me!
Well, tonight is going to be interesting. My friend Ashley asked me to join her at the Trace Adkins/Martina McBride concert. It is at the Budweiser Even Center so it isn't far away and I shouldn't be out too late. Of course I am very hesitant about leaving Tavian, but Cole thought it would be a really good idea for me to go. The breastfeeding stuff has been taking up so much of my time and energy that he thought it would be good for me to get out of the house a bit. I'm sure i'll be really tired, and I know I'll be missing Tavian the entire time, but I suppose I should give it a try. Plus I love Ashley and i love Martina McBride! I'll let you know how it goes:)
First of all, one month has already gone by. Are you kidding me? Tavian is getting so darn big. I had him weighed last Friday and he was 9lbs 11oz. I wanted to weigh him again today, but I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow because things just keep coming up!
In the last week and a half Tavian has really started making eye contact and it is so much fun. I love watching him start to really pay attention to what is happening around him. He looks me right in the eye and all I keep wondering is if he knows how loved he is. I wonder if all the kisses I shower on him every day make him feel more loved. I sure hope so. I hope not a day goes by that he doesn't feel cherished in every way.
For the past two Tuesdays my Aunt Barb has been coming over in the mornings to give me a few hours to sleep. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Of course it means a lot because I would do anything these days for some sleep, but it means even more because Tavian gets to spend that time with her. I spent much of my time growing up with my Aunt Barb and they are some of my fav. memories. I love that Tavian is already getting to experience some of that, and I love thinking about him growing up feeling close to her. She is such a blessing in our lives!
Also, Cole's mom has been visiting on Fridays. This is another special treat for us. I love the company and help, and I love that Tavian gets this special time with his Grammy. I wish my mom was here to shower love on him, but it is good knowing that even though she can't be here, that Tavian gets lots of love and attention from the Grammy that he does have!
The cutest thing happened the other day..Tavey found his thumb for the first time. It was completely random and he hasn't quite figured out how to do it again (even though he tries), but I even took pics because it was so adorable. I try and post them soon.
As for breastfeeding, it is still a struggle. Yesterday and today I have pretty much only been pumping because I am in too much pain to do anything else. Oh how I have missed getting to feed my little guy. Late last night I gave in and fed him once just for a bit because I couldn't take it any longer. It was such a special time! I really don't know how long I can keep this up, but I also don't know how I'll ever give it up! I just want Tavian to know how hard I fought for this, and I never want to forget, no matter the outcome, how much it meant to me!
Well, tonight is going to be interesting. My friend Ashley asked me to join her at the Trace Adkins/Martina McBride concert. It is at the Budweiser Even Center so it isn't far away and I shouldn't be out too late. Of course I am very hesitant about leaving Tavian, but Cole thought it would be a really good idea for me to go. The breastfeeding stuff has been taking up so much of my time and energy that he thought it would be good for me to get out of the house a bit. I'm sure i'll be really tired, and I know I'll be missing Tavian the entire time, but I suppose I should give it a try. Plus I love Ashley and i love Martina McBride! I'll let you know how it goes:)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My Baby Boy is here!!!
Tavian Larkin James was born on Sunday, March 7th, 2010 at 12:29am. He was 8lbs. 6oz. and 20 1/2 in. long. He is perfect in every single way!
I have pretty much been MIA the past four weeks, and even now I know I only have a limited of time to catch up on all that has happened. This post may take many days to complete!!!! It is a lot more difficult to get stuff done with a little one needing constant supervision!
Anyway, back to Tavian's birth story. On friday the 5th Cole and I had our last official date night before Tavian arrived. We went to dinner and a movie and had a wonderful time together. When we got home I took our excercise ball and bounced on it repeatedly, chanting, "Break, water break! Break, water break!" I truly didn't think this would work at all. But as I layed down for bed that night, I felt a small gush of fluid in the nether region. It was unusual enough that I sat up and told Cole that something strange had just happened. We contemplated calling our Dr., but decided that we were probably just overreacting and that if it was my water breaking, that I would most likely start having painful contractions sometime during the night. (I stress the painful part because I was having braxton hicks contractions for weeks and weeks, and sometimes in a pattern of every 5 minutes for a few hours) Well, the next morning we lazily woke up and I still hadn't gone into active labor. Around 10am I decided that it is better to be safe then sorry and we might as well call our Dr. He was the Dr. on call all weekend (God is so good how he plans things) so he had us come into the office for a quick check. Pretty instantly he realized I was indeed leaking fluid and told us to go home, grab our bags, and meet him at the hospital! Talk about shocking!!!! (i should note that I asked my doc if I could quickly get a few things done around the house. He looked at me like I was pretty crazy and said no and that it was pretty important to get to the hospital quickly...haha!) It was so strange and relatively calm, especially considering my contractions still weren't painful. It was a beautiful, sunny day and I still remember how strange it was driving home, getting things ready, and then calmly making our way to the hospital knowing we were going to meet our little man soon. So cool!
We got to the hospital around noon and got the room ready, called our loved ones, and started preparing for thinsg to start. At the office I had been 3 cm and 60% effaced, but even at the hospital my contractions still weren't painful. They were going to have to augment my labor if I didn't go naturally within a few hours because it is dangerous to go more then 24 hours with your water leaking before giving birth. At around 4 I had my first painful contraction, but since it had taken so long, they still opted to put me on a VERY small dosage of pitocin. Within a few hours I was 5 1/2 cm, but while being checked my doc found the rest of my water and broke it, announcing, "and now you are 6 cm." I knew things were going to get rough after that! Cole and i went straight from there to the tub, and instantly the contractions were HORRIBLE! I made it another hour and then got the epidural. After the epidural things continued to go really smoothly. Cole and I spent a lot of the time talking to Tavian and praying for him, and enoying our last moments with just the two of us. The next check I was 8 1/2 cm, and at 11 I was fully dilated. They let me labor down for awhile (let my body continue to push the baby down so I wouldn't have to do as much of the pushing), and I only had to push for 35 minutes. It was a wonderful experience! We video taped the pushing (discreetly and from the side!!!) and it was such an intimate, calm, special experience. Complete with James Taylor playing in the background, of course :)
Since then life has been CRAZY, but and time is flying because I can't believe that was 4 weeks ago. My little baby is already a month old..:( I am trying to enjoy every last minute of this. Parenthood is more difficult then I ever could have prepared for, but it also more amazing then I ever could have expected. There are many sacrifices that accompany parenthood, but it is amazing what we are capable of doing when we are head over heels in love. Tavian has captured our hearts!! He is perfect in ever single way!!! Thank you everyone for your prayers, love, support, and encouragement!
The first week was by far the hardest..Cole and I started to wonder what we got ourselves into..lol! The second week was amazing becuase my Aunt Sarah came to visit and helped us with everything!! She cooked for me, cleaned, and let me take a nap every day!!! Tavian's baptism was on the 20th of March and we had a lot of family come into town. That was super fun, especially because Tavey and Augustine got to meet for the first time. Cutest little boys ever. These last two weeks have been pretty good...the one problem is that since the start we have been struggling with breastfeeding. I guess no one can say I'm not determined! I love breastfeeding more then anything, so even though I have had to slave my body over the last four weeks, I'm still not ready to give up. Not yet anyway!
Well, I can't believe I was able to even write this much. There is of course more to say, but I better get this posted soon or I know it will never end up happening. I'm sorry I have been away from blog land for so long. I will try and do better, but I'm not sure what all I will have time for. I will say that I have continued to read all of your blogs...i just don't have time to comment! I'll try and get pics up soon, although that may be a bit ambitious!
I can't believe I am a mommy...I LOVE IT! :)
I have pretty much been MIA the past four weeks, and even now I know I only have a limited of time to catch up on all that has happened. This post may take many days to complete!!!! It is a lot more difficult to get stuff done with a little one needing constant supervision!
Anyway, back to Tavian's birth story. On friday the 5th Cole and I had our last official date night before Tavian arrived. We went to dinner and a movie and had a wonderful time together. When we got home I took our excercise ball and bounced on it repeatedly, chanting, "Break, water break! Break, water break!" I truly didn't think this would work at all. But as I layed down for bed that night, I felt a small gush of fluid in the nether region. It was unusual enough that I sat up and told Cole that something strange had just happened. We contemplated calling our Dr., but decided that we were probably just overreacting and that if it was my water breaking, that I would most likely start having painful contractions sometime during the night. (I stress the painful part because I was having braxton hicks contractions for weeks and weeks, and sometimes in a pattern of every 5 minutes for a few hours) Well, the next morning we lazily woke up and I still hadn't gone into active labor. Around 10am I decided that it is better to be safe then sorry and we might as well call our Dr. He was the Dr. on call all weekend (God is so good how he plans things) so he had us come into the office for a quick check. Pretty instantly he realized I was indeed leaking fluid and told us to go home, grab our bags, and meet him at the hospital! Talk about shocking!!!! (i should note that I asked my doc if I could quickly get a few things done around the house. He looked at me like I was pretty crazy and said no and that it was pretty important to get to the hospital quickly...haha!) It was so strange and relatively calm, especially considering my contractions still weren't painful. It was a beautiful, sunny day and I still remember how strange it was driving home, getting things ready, and then calmly making our way to the hospital knowing we were going to meet our little man soon. So cool!
We got to the hospital around noon and got the room ready, called our loved ones, and started preparing for thinsg to start. At the office I had been 3 cm and 60% effaced, but even at the hospital my contractions still weren't painful. They were going to have to augment my labor if I didn't go naturally within a few hours because it is dangerous to go more then 24 hours with your water leaking before giving birth. At around 4 I had my first painful contraction, but since it had taken so long, they still opted to put me on a VERY small dosage of pitocin. Within a few hours I was 5 1/2 cm, but while being checked my doc found the rest of my water and broke it, announcing, "and now you are 6 cm." I knew things were going to get rough after that! Cole and i went straight from there to the tub, and instantly the contractions were HORRIBLE! I made it another hour and then got the epidural. After the epidural things continued to go really smoothly. Cole and I spent a lot of the time talking to Tavian and praying for him, and enoying our last moments with just the two of us. The next check I was 8 1/2 cm, and at 11 I was fully dilated. They let me labor down for awhile (let my body continue to push the baby down so I wouldn't have to do as much of the pushing), and I only had to push for 35 minutes. It was a wonderful experience! We video taped the pushing (discreetly and from the side!!!) and it was such an intimate, calm, special experience. Complete with James Taylor playing in the background, of course :)
Since then life has been CRAZY, but and time is flying because I can't believe that was 4 weeks ago. My little baby is already a month old..:( I am trying to enjoy every last minute of this. Parenthood is more difficult then I ever could have prepared for, but it also more amazing then I ever could have expected. There are many sacrifices that accompany parenthood, but it is amazing what we are capable of doing when we are head over heels in love. Tavian has captured our hearts!! He is perfect in ever single way!!! Thank you everyone for your prayers, love, support, and encouragement!
The first week was by far the hardest..Cole and I started to wonder what we got ourselves into..lol! The second week was amazing becuase my Aunt Sarah came to visit and helped us with everything!! She cooked for me, cleaned, and let me take a nap every day!!! Tavian's baptism was on the 20th of March and we had a lot of family come into town. That was super fun, especially because Tavey and Augustine got to meet for the first time. Cutest little boys ever. These last two weeks have been pretty good...the one problem is that since the start we have been struggling with breastfeeding. I guess no one can say I'm not determined! I love breastfeeding more then anything, so even though I have had to slave my body over the last four weeks, I'm still not ready to give up. Not yet anyway!
Well, I can't believe I was able to even write this much. There is of course more to say, but I better get this posted soon or I know it will never end up happening. I'm sorry I have been away from blog land for so long. I will try and do better, but I'm not sure what all I will have time for. I will say that I have continued to read all of your blogs...i just don't have time to comment! I'll try and get pics up soon, although that may be a bit ambitious!
I can't believe I am a mommy...I LOVE IT! :)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Operation: Self Induce
Well, I went to an apt. on Friday and there wasn't much progress...bummer! The Doctor "stripped my membranes", I know, gross, and probably too much information, but it is supposed to help things along. (for those of you who don't already know, vocab regarding pregnancy is actually really gross, and I find it hard to believe someone couldn't think of any better terminology ) I was really hoping for it to make something happen because he said that he is going to pencil in an induction for this coming sat., sun., or mon., depending on openings at the hospital. I know being induced isn't the end of the world, and I'll just have to get over it if it comes to that, but I figure I should do everything I can to get this to happen on its own. My reasonings for prefering not to be induced include the fear that it could lead more easily to a c-section,which I absolutely don't want, that it can be more painful because the body doesn't naturally progress on its own, and lastly because I really want to know what it feels like to go into labor on my own.
So, what are the ways to naturally induce yourself? Well, depends on who you ask. For instance, many people swear by drinking castor oil, and even if that would do the trick, I have heard it can also be dangerous and actually really discusts me. Never gonna happen! We have no problem with the usual sex and walking, but I decided we need to to put a little more effort into this.
Some of the more unusual things I have tried:
* A friend said that she heard swinging worked. Well, I love to swing and what could it really hurt?? Sat. Cole and I drove to the park and had a nice time swinging together.
* Cole also took me to Caninos for dinner for their retro night (prices roll back to what they were 30 yrs. ago. It's amazing!) While we were there I got talked into eating the spumoni ice cream. It is supposed to help pregnant women go into labor. The problem is that it tastes like black licorice, and I HATE black licorice, so I pretty much choked it down. I plugged my nose and figured it would be worth the try...Cole just laughed!
* Cole's mom has told me again and again that crawling on the floor will help..something about the knees bumping up against the belly. I held off on this one for awhile because crawling on the floor seems a bit silly, but sure enough, I gave in on Sun. night. Cole laughed some more!!
* Along those same lines I have heard taking the stairs two by two will help. As tiring as it is, I do my best to remember each time I go up/down the stairs.
* The other night Cole and I even thought having a dance party might do the trick...maybe I could dance him out of me!! Nope..no such luck! We also have been playing Dr. Mario together because I get so competative and riled up that we figured it couldn't hurt!
* My Dr. is pretty funny and he told me he always tells his patients that a chocolate milkshake will work 50% of the time, so I should go get one of those :). Maybe I'll try that one tomorrow...yum!
Anyway, despite all of my efforts, no baby yet. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing!!
So, what are the ways to naturally induce yourself? Well, depends on who you ask. For instance, many people swear by drinking castor oil, and even if that would do the trick, I have heard it can also be dangerous and actually really discusts me. Never gonna happen! We have no problem with the usual sex and walking, but I decided we need to to put a little more effort into this.
Some of the more unusual things I have tried:
* A friend said that she heard swinging worked. Well, I love to swing and what could it really hurt?? Sat. Cole and I drove to the park and had a nice time swinging together.
* Cole also took me to Caninos for dinner for their retro night (prices roll back to what they were 30 yrs. ago. It's amazing!) While we were there I got talked into eating the spumoni ice cream. It is supposed to help pregnant women go into labor. The problem is that it tastes like black licorice, and I HATE black licorice, so I pretty much choked it down. I plugged my nose and figured it would be worth the try...Cole just laughed!
* Cole's mom has told me again and again that crawling on the floor will help..something about the knees bumping up against the belly. I held off on this one for awhile because crawling on the floor seems a bit silly, but sure enough, I gave in on Sun. night. Cole laughed some more!!
* Along those same lines I have heard taking the stairs two by two will help. As tiring as it is, I do my best to remember each time I go up/down the stairs.
* The other night Cole and I even thought having a dance party might do the trick...maybe I could dance him out of me!! Nope..no such luck! We also have been playing Dr. Mario together because I get so competative and riled up that we figured it couldn't hurt!
* My Dr. is pretty funny and he told me he always tells his patients that a chocolate milkshake will work 50% of the time, so I should go get one of those :). Maybe I'll try that one tomorrow...yum!
Anyway, despite all of my efforts, no baby yet. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing!!
Headed to Caninos. Yes, my belly is big!! (and my hubby is handsome!)
p.s. you can't seem them that well, but those are my amazing boots that i got for $16..LOVE them!
Nursery Pictures
Tavian's Nursery!!
This isn't the best pic but it gives a better overview of the layout of the room
Cole put up the chair rail and then we painted everything..if you can't tell it is tan on top, choc. brown on bottom
Inside his armoire...look at all his cute clothes!!!
His cute changing table. I painted the shelf and trash can.
The other side of the room
Cole and I love this quote and so Cole put it on the wall above the crib:)
I have a feeling Tavian and I will spend a lot of time in this rocking chair. Cole reupholstered it!
The amazing bookshelf that Cole built for our little man!
These are really special because Cole drew these pics for me while we were dating (pretty early on in the relationship) because he knew how much I love babies. When we were first married and moving into our apartment I saw the back of one of the pics and Cole had written, "by the time you read this you will be my wife." That was 4 months into dating, and now they hang in our little mans room :)
We love his little nursery and we are just so excited for him to get here so he can use it!!!!!
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