All Good Things Must Come to an End

I'm not sure I actually believe this saying, but it is true that most good things end in some capacity or another.  

And that was the case for breastfeeding Tavian.

About 2 1/2 weeks ago I had my last feeding with Tavian.  I was aware that we weren't going to be able to keep it up much longer, and because of the pregnancy my milk supply was really starting to dwindle.  The doctor had suggested I wean even sooner then this, but I wanted to keep going (even if just for one feeding)  for as long as I could.  And that is what I did.  I kept thinking each feeding could potentially be the last, but I don't think I was taking it as seriously as I should have because I didn't want to believe there would actually be an end date.  One night while trying to feed Tavian  before bed I just didn't have let down.  I kept trying to continually offer the situation up to God and tried really hard to not get too emotional about it.  So I just thought, ok, I guess you aren't going to breastfeed tonight.  But then I kind of freaked out because it happened again the next night.  I realized I may never have that actual last feeding.  I wanted to know the last time would be the last time!

Thankfully God was so good to me and one of the following days, really early in the morning, I got to feed Tavian for the last time.  I held him in my arms, just the two of us in the absolute silence, watching as he drifted back to sleep.  I get emotional thinking of it now because it was just so beautiful.  

I know I could have tried harder to keep feeding him, but I really had to ask myself who I was benefiting in doing so.  It had been a very natural process and he seemed to be doing just fine with it.  Should I really put up resistance to it?  Especially when I have another baby growing inside me?  I felt like I should accept the natural course of events and be so very thankful for the many months I was able to share that special bond with him.  I am forever grateful!

It had to end sometime.  Sometimes I'm sad the time is already here, but I'm happy for the time I got and I am happy to see my little baby becoming a little boy.