25 Years Later

Another year has passed.  Another year yearning she was still here. 

I can't believe it has been 25 years.  For whatever reason that seems like such a big deal.  I missed her just as terribly all the other years, but some years just seem heavy. 

I spent the night watching home videos with Cole.  It was so nice having her come alive again in our living room.  Laughing at the familiar scenes that I have seen over and over.  I love the one where I'm 8 months old and sick with a fever.  She is nursing me and cuddling me and whispering to me as I fall asleep.  Then she looks at the camera and says that she wanted to film this so that I would always know how much she loved me.  And you know what?...She may have only been here for three years of my life, but I have known and felt her love for me every day of my life.  What a blessing that is.  She loves me.  She wants me.  She prays for me.  None of that is past tense.

I have been thinking about this for awhile now, and it finally really feels like the right time.  I want to remember my mom but I also want the world to remember her or to have the opportunity to know her.  So I am going to share some of her letters or letters written about her.  For those of you lucky to have known her, maybe it will bring back fond memories and put a smile on your face.  And, for those who never had the chance, I hope it will give you the opportunity to learn about her and to keep her living in the hearts of others. 

It was just on Mother's Day that the Deacon at our church stopped me as I was leaving and said, "Being a mother is in your genes.  You had the most amazing mother."  So true.  It says so much that those who knew her have never forgotten her.  Now you will all have a chance to be blessed by her :)

So tonight, since she passed 25 years ago today, I thought I would share the homily from her funeral.  I read it aloud on Sunday when we went to the cemetery with my Dad and my sister Sarah and her family.  My Dad also played "Thank You" on the car stereo and made angel food cake (her favorite).  It was a very special time.  My Aunt Barb also had a Mass said for my mom on Tuesday morning at John XXIII.  My cousin Todd, my Uncle Ken and my Aunt Barb came and Cole took the morning off work so he could be there with us.  It meant so much to me.

I love you Mom.  Thank you for loving me so fiercely...even from Heaven.

(I realize this is horrible quality...if you can zoom in you may be able to read it.  But I hope to post a scanned in version soon)