Our Kindergarten Journey

A year ago, when Tavian was just finishing preschool, we had no idea the kindergarten journey we were about to embark upon.  He had gone to preschool at Bacon Elementary (our neighborhood school) and we had a great experience there so it seemed logical and easy to register him there for kindergarten.  And so that is what we did.

 

But fast forward a month, and after a lot of discernment and conversation, Cole and I felt like we might be called to enroll Tavian at St. Joseph's Catholic School.  Convenient?  No.  Not at all.  It's expensive.  It's far away.  They didn't offer half day kindergarten which is really what I wanted.  He would be riding the bus which would make his days significantly longer.  Basically there were a lot of reasons that made this the more difficult option. 

 

 

But the pros??  He would get to live out his love for Jesus every single day with other people that love Jesus too.  I mean...what cons can outweigh that?!?  He would being saying prayers in his classroom, going to mass and adoration every week, and being surrounded by wonderful, holy examples.  One of the best parts was Sister Rose Mary, the principal.  I mean it when I say I am a bit obsessed with her.  You will have never met a more beautiful, loving, faithful, joy filled woman in your life.  Her example, especially as leader of the school, was worth so many inconveniences!

 

 

 

So we went ahead with it.  Let me stress that we didn't make this decision lightly.  Cole and I mulled over it again and again.  And it had nothing to do with academics.  We live in a wonderful city with wonderful schools, and even though St. Joseph's has wonderful academic performance, we knew Tavian would get a good education anywhere he went.  We just felt like that faith aspect was so important.  And it is!

 

 

I balled like a baby dropping him off that first day.  I was definitely not ready for him to be gone all day every day.  It broke my heart.  But he liked it and we really had felt called that this was the right decision.  The first few months were pretty good.   There were definitely some hiccups just with getting settled and understanding the rules and routines of it all.  But for the most part it was good.  I worried often about him, especially because it was hard for him to tell me about a lot of his day.  Partly because he is little and it is hard for them to verbalize everything, but I think even more so it was because the days were so long that he truthfully couldn't keep track of it all.

 

 

 

I started to see a change in Tave the week or two leading up to Christmas break.  He was counting down the days until he didn't' have to be at school.  It was hard to know how much of this should be chalked up to adjustment or not.  And I knew he was struggling some academically.  This didn't' surprise me that much because I always have known he doesn't fit in the typical box or mold.  He is a super bright, creative, imaginative kid.  And although he loves diving in to the world of make believe through books, he has never shown much interest in letters and sounds and writing.  But I was worried more because I didn't want anything to affect his self confidence.  I get that kids need school and need to learn, but Cole and I openly admit that we care far more about raising a loving, honest, kind, genuine, responsible, moral little guy then we do about raising an academic genius.  That has just never been as important to us.  Once Christmas break was over Tavian fought going back to school.  He really didn't want to.  He had nothing bad to say about the kids or the teachers but he just said the days were too long and that he wanted to be home with me and play.

 

 

In January I contacted his teacher to see if we could sit down and come up with some solutions for Tavian to start enjoying his time more.  I felt like I was losing the spark in my little guy and I didn't want to let that happen.  When Cole and I sat down with her she told us right off the bat that she thought Tavian should go to kindergarten again next year and that she felt he just needed another year to be ready for the work load and expectations of first grade.  We were pretty shocked.  Not that we wouldn't be willing to do that if it was best for him, but felt it was a little pre-emptive considering it was only January and we hadn't come up with any other plans or changes to improve the situation.

 

Needless to say, Cole and I had a lot to talk about.  And a lot more discernment.  It was a rough time because we wanted what was best for our little guy and truly didn't know what that was.  There was so much we loved about St. Joseph's.  And not having those things at public school was really heartbreaking to me.  But, ultimately, we felt the best thing was to pull Tavian from St. Joseph's and enroll him at Bacon.  It wasn't an easy decision.  The main deciding factor were the long days.  Tavian was getting on the bus at 7:45 and getting off the bus at 3:45.  8 hours was just too long for him.  And with that rigorous schedule the last thing I was going to do when he got home was work on school with him.  He needed time to be a kid.  Having him at Bacon in the half day program meant that he would be done at noon everyday and there would be plenty of time for me to work with him on certain areas that he was struggling with.  And by saving money on tuition we knew we could use that money to invest in getting him some outside help and resources.

 

We visited one last time for the Valentine's Day party so Tavian could say goodbye to his friends and teacher.

Saying goodbye to his Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Grigsby

Fast forward another month or two.  I really felt like I needed to get Tavian evaluated just to make sure there wasn't anything standing the way that would make the learning process more difficult.  I truly believe this was mother's intuition led by God.  One of his old preschool teachers from when he was three had become certified to give evaluations and specialized in dyslexia.  I had wondered about dyslexia a few times in the past but truthfully didn't know much about it.  Turns out I knew pretty much nothing.  Much of what I thought I knew wasn't even true...most people believe the  assumptions and not the facts..  Anyway, praise God we had him evaluated.  We found that he is moderately to severely dyslexic.  Well...that explains a lot.  His brain is not going to be able to learn in the traditional way.  At least not until it is retrained to process the information differently.  Starting pretty immediately after the evaluation we started having him tutored with the Orton Gillingham method which is specific to those with dyslexia.  He will continue this tutoring all summer and maybe another year longer, depending on his pace.

 

It has been a long journey.  And a hard one.  Even from the beginning when we were first deciding to try Catholic school.  There have been many, many tears.  I hold this child so close and I just want what is best for him.  I truly praise God for giving me the intuition to have him evaluated.  I praise God that he gave me the humility, despite the sadness and fear involved, to take Tavian out of St. Joseph's.  Knowing about his dyslexia this early on is going to make a huge difference for his future. The evaluator said that most cases aren't found until 2nd grade, and by then it can take three years to get caught up.  I would have been so sad if he went through school thinking he wasn't smart or having lost his confidence through the experience.  Because the truth is that he is so smart.  His brain just processes information differently then the majority of people.  And classrooms are built for the majority.  The good news is that although not specifically for dyslexia, and so who knows how helpful at this time, he has access to more resources through the public school district.  I met with the school a few weeks ago and got a 504 plan all ready for him so that he will have all the accommodations he needs at the start of first grade.

Smiling with Mrs. Kincaid, his kindergarten teacher at Bacon, on the last day of school.

 

I hope it goes without saying that I having nothing bad to say about St. Joseph's.  It just, sadly, wasn't a good fit for Tavian.  For the majority of kids it would be a great place to go to school.  I actually have no doubt that Felicity would thrive there and love it!  Every kid is different and has specific needs and this is the best choice for Tavian for the time being.  Where will he be two years from now?  Who knows?  If I've learned anything it's that I don't know!!!  Maybe I'll homeschool.  Maybe we'll go back to St. Joseph's.  Maybe we'll move and find a different neighborhood school.  As long as it is a good fit for Tavian then I'll be happy!

 

Can you tell I am a proud Momma??  So blessed!