The Hardest Age

I know how everyone always laments about the terrible twos.  Or how they are in the throws of having a threenager.  But is there a clever description for the difficulties that come with a 4 year old?!?

Let me just say that I would take a two or three year old over a four year old any day.  I thought maybe this was just a fluke with my first.  Tavian and I definitely had what I would call a somewhat strained relationship from 4-5 years old.  Did I love him any less?  Of course not!  But I definitely had to work extra hard to keep my cool.  When you are in the throws of it, and when it is your first, it is terrifying when the thoughts come into your head that it will always be this way.  Praise Jesus, it came and went. 

And then Felicity turned 4.....oh man.  I love that girl to death but there is something about this age that just drives me right over the edge.  Is it her fault?  Was it Tavian's fault?  No, not even the slightest.  Which of course makes me feel all the more guilty.  It is most certainly my temperament, personality, and sinful nature that just revolts against the 4 year old behaviors.  Now that this is the second time going through it I think I have figured out just what makes it so hard for me. 

It feels like a super needy age.  Aren't three year olds needy too, you ask?  Yes, they are.  But they are rightfully needy.  I feel like 4 year olds can actually do a lot for themselves and have much more independence, but when convenient they like to act helpless.  And it drives me bananas.  I have higher expectations for a 4 year old.  I think it partially has to do with the fact that they aren't ready to take on the responsibilities of the big kid role, yet they are definitely a big kid.  I think Felicity has a hard time watching Beckett get attention and receive help in areas that she doesn't.  I exasperatedly want her to understand that she got that same help and attention at his age, but now that she can do those things herself, she should.  And this is also the stage where the baby talk starts to resurface.  Oh man..I might as well pull my hair out.  "Talk like a big girl" comes out of my mouth far too often.  And this is more specific to her being a girl, but her sensitivity and drama are off the charts.  The tiniest little inconvenience or discouragement can wage the biggest meltdown.  She cries and we would all swear that she had lost a finger or broken her arm, or was gushing blood.  But not so.  The same cry that warrants immediate attention is used when her water spills on the floor or someone makes a mean face at her.  It kills me!!!!

Just figured I would share these thoughts in case someone else was in the midst of the struggle.  And maybe for you it is a different age.  The good news is this really too shall pass.  I actually think preschool in the fall will help a lot.  It will give Felicity a real sense of having something that is just her own, and I think it is the start of really seeing the perks of living the big kid role.  Hopefully I'm right and we are just around the corner from some big changes.  But seriously, wish me luck.  And say some prayers.  Cause some days I just want to pull my hair out!

Hard to believe drama and sass can come from this sweet thing

How can she drive me so bonkers while at the same time I am so freakin in
love with her??!?  So glad I get to call this girl my own, even during the difficult stages.