Our Baby Girl

Oh my goodness, where does the time go?  I'm sad I wasn't able to write this sooner, but hear is the story of Felcity Patricia Eileen!

This pregnancy was easier then Tavian's in many ways, but I was still really uncomfortable towards the end.  Once again I was convinced that I would have the baby early.  I was carrying SO low...it literally felt like the baby was going to fall out of me at any minute.  I think it probably had something to do with carrying Tavian around everywhere.  He had the perfect perch right on top of my belly with all his weight pushing down on the little one!  Well, God loves to teach me patience.  And, although it was uncomfortable, I was actually really grateful that the baby wasn't coming early.  I figure the longer they stay in there the better chance of being healthy!

My Doctor was really lax this time around, and because I wasn't having much of the hydronephrosis pain like I had with Tavian, and because my fibroid didn't seem to be growing anymore, I didn't need as many ultrasounds this time around.  I went in for an apt. the week before my due date and my doctor was finally ready to check me.  To my dissapointment I was only 1cm dilated.  At the time i remember being a bit discouraged, but I also knew I needed to embrace family life with just the three of us because I knew everything was going to change so drastically.  I was still having some really emotionally hard days at the thought of Tavian not being the only one anymore.  I know it sounds crazy because I was so in love and so excited for this baby, but there is still the part of every mother that is anxious about the change and about the ability to love another as ferociously as she does the one currently in her arms.  Looking back I am so thankful that Felicity came in God's time.  I think it was such a gift to me, Cole, and Tavian.  We had such fun family time in that last week and I remember finally coming to a place of peace and being ready for the change.

Felicity was due on December 7th, 2012.  December 6th was a Tuesday and we had our weekly biggest loser night.  It was a fun night and I remember having some sharp pains throughout the show, but nothing serious and nothing that made me think the baby was coming soon.  We went to bed around 10 that night, but at about 11 I started noticing painful contractions.  Nothing too painful, but definatelyl different then the braxton hicks that I know so well.  It is hard when things start in the middle of the night.  Hard because if it is real labor then you should really be trying your best to sleep.  But I was so unsure that I felt I needed to stay up and time the contractions and figure out if it was a false alarm or not.  My dad had agreed to stay the night with Tavian when the baby came, and since there was a chance this could be the real thing, I ended up calling him around 3am to come over and sleep at our house.  I just wanted to be prepared because he lives about 20 minutes away and we are about 20 from the hospital.  I didn't want to find out it was go time and have to wait around for him to get there.  I didn't bug Cole too much throughout the night because I knew one of us should be getting our sleep.  The contractions were probably averaging 7 minutes apart but they weren't very consistent  and by 6am I was pretty sure it was all a false alarm.  I had just gotten out of the shower (which felt so good by the way) and they seemed to slow down.  I heard Tavian getting a little restless in his crib and since I was wanting to cherish every moment with him in these final days, I went and got him and we rocked in the rocking chair together.  We both fell fast asleep and it is a memory I will hold deep in my heart all of my life.  It turned out to be my final moments alone with just my boy.

I awoke in the rocking chair at a little after 7am to a very painful contraction.  It jolted me out of sleep and was so painful that I had to call to Cole (waking Tavian up), because I wasn't sure how I could get out of the chair or lift Tavian off me without any help.  At that moment I realized it wasn't a false alarm and I was very thankful my dad was already at the house!!  Everything started to happen so fast but I don't think I was doing a very good job of communicating the progress with Cole.  He was calmly eating pancakes with Tavian as I sat on the couch realizing the pain was getting more extreme and that each contraction also seemed to be lasting longer.  This was the moment throughout the labor where I was most panicked...I just couldn't get calm knowing we still had to drive to the hospital.  I was on the phone with my sister, Sarah, trying to coordinate when she would pick up Tavian, but after a few minutes on the phone she told me that I was crazy to still be at home and I needed to hang up and be on my way to the hospital.  I'm glad she was persistent!  I was in quite a bit of pain at this point but before leaving the house I had to use the bathroom...I still laugh at my dads reaction.  "Don't use the bathroom!!...I don't want this baby being devlivered at home!"  Haha:)

Cole and I got to the hospital a little after 8am.  When we checked in at the desk I remember a nurse saying something about it looking like I was uncomfortable.  (No, ya think?!?)  Lol, I am pretty sure she didn't expect me to be as far into my labor as I was.  They checked me right away and I was already a 7.  Wow!  She actually looked pretty panicked and said she would be moving everything along as fast as she could.  Even though I suspected it would be a quick process, I still wanted to get in the shower because it had helped so much when I was at home.  Once again it was amazing.  For some reason I hate the bath during labor but love the shower.  The remarkable thing is that during this labor I was very calm the whole time.  I did a lot of breathing and concentrating and swaying back and forth.  But that is about it.  Cole held my hand and supported me the entire time.  He kept reminding me of all the people that were praying for us and it literally brought tears of joy to my face each time!

They checked me an hour later and I was a 9!  My Doctor still wasn't there but they were wanting to know about the epidural.  This was a hard decision for me. I have always loved the idea of having an entirely natural birth and looked up to the women that were able to do so.  However, I was really nervous about the pushing the baby out part without having any medication.  That is just a little scary to me!!  The nurses were adamant if I wanted it I was going to have to decide quickly because my window of opportunity was closing!  I calmly asked if I could call my sister first.  Yes, Andrea is my best friend and she has also had a natural labor so I just wanted a few minutes with her.  After talking with her and also having a few moments with my Dr. I decided that I would get the epidural.  Now we get to the only glitch during the labor.  The anesthesiologist had to stick me like 3 times and it took 25 minutes!  That's right folks, with contractions at a 9 I had to sit hunched over on the side of my bed without moving a muscle and "relaxed" for 25 minutes.  It almost killed me.  Cole said the lady could try one more time but if she didn't get it that we just weren't going to do it.  Somehow she managed to get it right the next time.

Before long it was time to push.  Cole and I were getting so anxious and excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl!  I still thought it was going to be a girl, but that is also what I was secretly hoping for!  Three contractions later out came the most beautiful little girl.  We had known throughout the entire pregnancy that if we had a girl her name would be Felicity Patricia (my mom's name) Eileen (my Nana's name).    Cole told me it was a girl right away, but I was in disbelief so I asked if he was sure!  haha:)  Felicity was born at 11:04am (a short three hours in the hospital!) and weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 1/2 in. long.  I can't tell you the amount of joy that was instantly brought to our lives.  Deep down I was so longing to have a baby girl.  I know I would have been happy either way and most importantly I prayed for a healthy child, but I can't deny that a large part of me longed to have a baby girl.  I desperately wanted to partake in the mother/daughter relationship that I never got to have.  The first thing I said to her when they put her in my arms was that we were going to get to shop together and get our nails done together...Cole thought I was being ridiculous!  I feel so blessed that God has fulfilled this desire of my heart and I look forward to all the girly fun we will have throughout the years!

Cole and I only stayed one night at the hospital because we were really anxious to get home to Tavian.  We got home Thursday evening and it felt wonderful to sleep in our own beds.  Everything with Felicity has been going well...except for breastfeeding (no change there!).  That is a different story for another time, and I may never get around to telling it.  Lets just say that I was able to offer up a lot on behalf of my little girl for the first two 1/2 months of her life.  Considering she will only be three months this week, that should tell you we haven't been out of the woods for very long.  God willing I will be able to continue breastfeeding!!!

Sorry this was so long, but I just wanted to document this special occasion!