All alone

And I'm not happy about it!

Cole left for Amsterdam this morning and he won't be back until Friday night.  He has his first big business trip (tankfully there haven't been more) and although he is really excited about getting to travel, and I am not real thrilled about being without a husband for six days!  I joke with him that even though he is going for work, he is really the one getting the vacation!...although he will be in three countries in the short amount of time, so not much time for relaxing and sight seeing.  He has never been to Europe though so I am sure he will still have a fun time.  

I already am missing him like crazy.  Life just isn't as good without him!  I have been so anxious about him traveling so far from home.  I pray (and I ask for your prayers) that everything goes well and he arrvies safely back home on Friday!

One of the worst parts about him being gone is the sleeping scenario.  As in I usually don't sleep..at all!  It isn't like I just don't sleep as well...but more like the lights on and I am terrified all night and I daze in and out of consciousness.  Not my idea of a restful night.  And restful nights are much more important now that I am taking care of a little baby all day.  (Did I mention what an active baby he is??  He is into everything!)

Luckily my dad was willing to come to the rescue and he will be staying with me while Cole is gone.  I am hoping there may even be some father/daughter bonding...and maybe some bapa/tavian bodning as well.  And I can't go without giving my amazing girlfriends some credit.  Ames and Liss are coming over tomorrow for a spend the night.  We are going to watch The Hangover and eat pizza!  Sounds like a good time to me!!!

Please keep me and Tavian in your prayers as well.  It is probably going to be a very long, tireing week!

Hope you all have a good week:)

p.s. I am so behind in blog world...hopefully I can find the time this week to finish posts I started forever ago!

Some time for me

I am sitting at a Starbucks in Colorado Springs all by myself.

Why am I in Colorado Springs on a Friday afternoon?  How have I found myself alone?  Where is my hubby and child? 

Let me tell you...

Cole's friend Steve is getting married in a few hours at a church in Colorado Springs.  The wedding is at 4, but because Cole is an usher, he had to be at the church at 1:30.  Cole pretty much took the entire day off so we could get everything ready and get here on time.  I don't know what it is about the drive to Colorado Springs, but for some reason there always seems to be plenty of traffic!  Turns out leaving early was a great idea!  As for my baby boy, we dropped him off in Longmont with Cole's mom.  I thought it would be too long of a day for him, a lot of car time, and Cole and I thought it might be nice to take advantage of spending some time alone.  Does it say something that we were even excited for the drive?!?  Perspectives have changed since baby, and what once would have been seen as an annoying, long drive, is now seen as the perfect opportunity to ride hand in hand with my love and spend time talking and laughing without other obligations!

Once I dropped Cole off at the church, I decided I really needed to embrace the circumstances and find a Starbucks and relish in some "me time"!  Let me say, I am loving it!  I probably would have preferred a Barnes and Noble though because this Starbucks is hopping...so crazy and so noisy.  My gps let me down and couldn't find a BandN..so I made do with this!  And I am still very thankful!

Of course coming early has some disadvantages...like having to change and try to "get ready" in a church bathroom.  It should be interesting, that's for sure.  And of course leaving Tavian, as much as I appreciate the break, was hard.  My eyes welled with tears as we drove off, afraid that my little man would feel abandoned by me.  But I know that is rediculous, especially because I am leaving him with Grammy...aka the best hands ever!!  I know he will beloved, spoiled, and cherished in her home...as he should be :)

Well, I only have a short time left before I will need to leave to get ready.  I will post later about the rest of the night and about the wedding.  I'm sure we'll have a blast!

And, if this goes well, maybe someday soon we'll try leaving Tavian overnight...

maybe..

Music to my ears

In the last week Tavian has started saying mama!  I LOVE it!

When I first heard him say it, I convinced myself that there was no way he could know that it was me.  Sure, he could make the sound, but he couldn't know the sound was meant for me...right?  Well, I was wrong.  He definitely knows!  It is the cutest, sweetest thing in the whole world.  Whenever he is frustrated, tired, hungry...basically whenever he needs something, I hear Mama..Mamamama.  He will cry out for me and crawl right into my lap.  The problem is that it is so hard to not give him whatever he wants when I hear it.  Plus, he is going through a stage of separation anxiety.  He literally doesn't want me out of his site, and he would prefer more then anything if I was holding him at all times. 

The second the shower door closes, I hear him whine for Mama over and over.  Kind of breaks my heart.  The worst is nap time.  He scoots to the edge of the crib, gets on all fours, reaches out his arm for me, and cries, "Mama!"  Sometimes I can stand it, but others my heart melts and I go and pick him up.  The more I respond when he says it, the more positive reinforcment he is getting...right?!? ;)

I never knew something could be so special!  And now Cole is trying to get him to say Dada..too cute!!!

I guess this is just another joy about being a mom.   Sometimes it is still hard to believe that I get to be the Mama..and I get to hear my beautiful baby call for me.  What could be better??

Things are about to get interesting...

Because I have a little boy who has learned how to get to where he wants to go!

Tavian has started to crawl!  He hasn't mastered it yet, but I think he will be getting into all sorts of trouble in no time!  Here is a sneak peak at my soon to be trouble maker :)

I'm a proud momma!

Scary Story

I mentioned in the post about my sister's visit that I would later say more about the night we went out in Old Town.  Well, here is our scary story:

We met friends at the Drunken Monkey, stayed only about an hour, and then headed home around 11:30pm.  We were headed Southbound on College.  Andrea let me have a drink (probably as repayment for going out with her so late...I mean really, I needed some incentive!! and beacuse she would most likely be breatsfeeding in the early morning hours) so she said she would drive us home.  Yes, I could have driven with only having one drink, but we are just extra careful about these things!  Well, as we were approaching Drake on College, we suddenly realized something was very wrong.  A white pick up truck was headed North on College, but while driving in the Southbound lane.  Sooo not okay!  There was a few moments of confusion and panick, but Praise God there weren't any other cars close to us so we were able to get all the way over to the right hand lane.  Andrea handles herself perfectly!  One of the scariest things about this was that the driver had NO idea he was going the wrong way on the wrong side of the median!  He wasn't slowing down, wasn't trying to turn around..nothing!  I immediately started laying on the horn as he passed to try and warn him, as well as all the cars he would soon be approaching!  I also called 911 and let them know what I had seen.  Of course everything happened so fast and the last thing on our mind was to get the license plate number! 

We have no real way of knowing if anything else horrible happened because of that drivers stupid decision to drive drunk, but I pray that no one was hurt because of it. 

Anyway, Andrea and I were really shooken up.  It gave me a whole new perspective as to what it must have been like for my dad when he and my mom were hit by a drunk driver...

So reckless, so senseless!

Thank you God for keeping us safe:)

Respect Life Month

October is Respect Life month. A month to remember all the unborn whose lives have been taken by the Silent Holocaust. I consider myself a pro-life advocate. I first protested outside abortion clinics when I was a little girl, holding signs, praying, and in my mother's arms. I have never known anyone who fought for life as passionately and lovingly as my mother. I hope to always continue and fight for the rights of those who have no voice.


At UNC the students have started participting in something they call BEARfoot for Babies which takes place during one week of Respect Life month. This year it is Oct3-Oct9. The students go the entire week without shoes or socks as a form of silent, peaceful protest. They also fill the week with prayer, mass, and amazing speakers. I have the priveledge of seeing Lila Rose speak tomorrow at UNC...but more about that tomorrow.
For more information about BEARfoot for Babies take a look at their video:



Hopefully you all can find a way to participate this month!

Life as it should be...

with Andrea, Luke, and Augustine in Fort Collins!

My sister Andrea and her family came to visit this last weekend and we had the most wondeful time!  You may already know that Andrea is my best friend and an amazing sister and I am always wishing that she lived here.  It will probably still be a few years before they move here, but in the meantime little visits are so exciting for me!

I picked them up from the airport on Friday afternoon (should have been morning but of course their flight was delayed..)  Anyway, we started our time together with a delicious homemade dinner of chicken with shrimp salad.  And for dessert?  Yummy white wine and homemade oreo mcflurries outside by the fire pit.  So much fun!  Andrea and I talk multiple times a day, but actually getting to talk in person was so surreal!  She knows every detail about my life, every new outfit I buy, etc...but being here she actually got to see the outfit, or see Tavian's new silly face, or the new toy I bought him!  Pretty sweet!

Saturday started with Mckenzie and Dylan's soccer games.  They both did great!  My other sister Ellen and her fmaily were also in town and it was great getting so much of the family together and watching the cousins play together.

After the soccer games Ellen, Andrea, and I brought our kiddos to a pumpkin patch by our house.  We weren't really interested in all the festivities offered, but  we thought it would make an adorable photo op...and it did!

The rest of Saturday was spent planning for a big dinner celebration for all our family.  It was somewhat stressful because I was the hostess and I have never had that many people come over!!!  There were going to be 16 adults and plenty of kiddos!  Luckily everyone was bringing a dish to share.  My extended family happens to be amazing cooks so we had TONS of yummy Italian food.  Of course I forgot to take any pictures...so lame!  The weather was perfect so we were outside the majority of the time and the kids and boys kept busy playing cornhole.  Everyone left around 9 and just when I was thinking that bed was around the corner, Andrea asked if I wanted to go meet up with Audra (one of her high school friends) downtown.  I said yes, which is total proof of how much I love my sister!  It takes a lot for me to  not go to bed early!!!  No pictures from downtown either :(, but it was a good time.  (I have a side story about it that I will post at another time!)

  

We met all the fam at Panera early Saunday morning for some delicious brunch.  Normally we go to mass at 730 but we were all pretty tired from the night before so Andrea and I went with our families at 12.  We got home in time for the Bronco game at 2.  The rest of the family met up at our house in the afternoon so Ellen and her family could say goodbye to Luke, Andrea, and Augustine before they left to go back home to Gillette.  That night I met some of my high school friends for a quick dinner at The Rio because Annie Pitner was in town.  I ended up getting to see Annie, Kalin, Whitney, Carly, Ashley, Syd, Esther, and Megan.  It was great getting to catch up with everyone...even if for only a short time!  I went home and got to continue hanging out with the rest of the gang with beer and corn hole.

Monday was probably one of my favorite days!  Cole took off work so that we could go up to Estes with Andrea and Luke.  It was such a fun time and the weather and scenery were beautiful.  We started with lunch at Wapiti Grill, walked around town, stuffed our face with the best ice cream at Haleys, and then ended the day with mini golf and Go Carts.  Too much fun! 

We drove home in the afternoon and had one last dinner with all of the family so everyone could say their goodbyes. There was more cornhole and more fun. And, after they had finished their dinner, we gave Tavian and Augustine a bath. One of the cutest things ever! Wouldn't you agree?!??

We ended the night just Andrea, Luke, Cole, and me and a game of Chicken Foot.  The days went so quickly and I am so bummed that they are gone.  I already miss them so much...I mostly miss all the laughing that Andrea and I did together.  Like maybe when she nailed me directly in the temple with her elbow with massive force?  Oh yeah, that was so funny!  Oh wait, it wasn't.  It was only funny to Andrea.  She laughed until she cried but I just cried!  Lol..at least I can laugh about it now.  Miss you sister:)  Til next time...